Random Bits of Nothingness!

*My computer is alive! However, we are going to be adding a bigger hard drive so we will be without it again. So, my posts will be sparse--with no pictures.

*It is still winter here. It is April-Spring must come soon!

*I bought lovely daffodils for my table. My wonderful tulips finally bit the dust.

*I am still struggling with energy, the cold and dark weather just doesn't help me want to go out and go running! I am trying to enlist a friend to start going to the gym in the mornings with me. Perhaps it will be the motivation I need.

*I have been studying my photography books. The more I study the less I know.

*I am avoiding laundry. I have mounds.

*My children have been doing more chores--happy Momma-not so happy kids!

*I went to a scripture study class today and came home depressed. I don't think that is the intention of the class. I felt unlearned and like a failure as a mother. I took the little man to McDonald's after to try and relieve a little gloom.

*I bought more frozen fruit and raw spinach so I can have my green smoothies again.

*My best friend leaves tomorrow for a trip to Germany---without me! I will miss her, every single day.

Being Brave

I have health issues. The biggest health issue for me is that I am genetically predisposed to have a fat derriere. Because of this disposition if I choose to relax on any aspect of healthy living it shows---literally -- on my back side!

I have had a stupid foot issue-plantar fasciitis--for almost 1 1/2 years. Because of this I have not been exercising with the vigor that I had the 1 1/2 years before that. I also struggle with a mild case of Seasonal Affective Disorder every winter so I have been hibernating, not exercising,eating less than stellar and just being quite slow.

The combination of all these factors is not a pretty sight.

I have been coming to grips with the fact that I am basically a big lazy whiner. I don't like to push myself. I have not mastered the whole 'mind over matter' thing. My mind is lazy and doesn't want to stretch. I like to think big. I learn about all types of things.I am an information junkie! I can rattle off information about different healthy lifestyles or exercises better than a personal trainer.

Problem is---I don't walk the walk!

What to do? What to do? How does one get to where they can get out of their own slow stuck spot and be brave? Does healthy living really take being brave? I think that it does. For many people struggling just like I do it is easier to just be---whatever that being is. If we are overweight because we are predisposed to it or because we eat too many ding dongs we are still familiar with being overweight or unhealthy. We don't like it but we can't quite figure out how to change it.

Change is hard. It is uncomfortable. It is unfamiliar. I have known people that are in horribly abusive relationships, they leave the person only to go immediately back to that person. Why do they do this? They do it because it is familiar. It is what they know. Change is hard.

Learning to change ones life is hard. Much more mental than I ever imagined. I know the talk. I know WHAT I need to do. How do I walk the walk?

I am going to start the walk with baby steps. Yesterday I started drinking green smoothies. I have known people that have drunk them for years. My friend Laura swears that they have helped her shed weight more easily than ever before in her life. She has lost all her baby weight and more.

I am stepping out of my comfort zone and trying one BRAVE baby step. I bought fresh spinach and frozen fruit and ground it up in a blender and drank it--two days in a row! MissA is on the wagon with me. I also managed to go to the gym today. I guess that is two baby brave steps.

I am also trying to convince my lazy brain that I can now start to run again. My foot is going to be strong. I can do it. I have this need to become a runner. Someone that actually loves to run. Someone that needs to run. I want that runners high.

I also want to have the thin backside of a runner!