Sometimes

Sometimes I get a glimpse of heaven. I am usually too busy with laundry and such to pay attention.

My sweet little man is in the kitchen just talking away--to himself. Mr. Man(#2) is sleeping soundly in the chair behind me. I can hear the bus coming up the hill to drop of MissE. Besides these noises it is quiet.

I am a blessed Momma.

Alignment

Sometimes the moon and the stars just align and all is well with the world!~

This morning I had decided that I wasn't going to get up early, I could wait and go to the gym at 9:00 am. Well, I didn't turn off my cell phone alarm. It went off at 5:00am. I turned it off and rolled over. I actually rolled across Little Man who had climbed in sometime in the night. I then moved him to his little bed on the floor after he started kicking Mr. Sweetness in the back! Then I laid in my bed--awake. I was AWAKE. At 5:00 am! That is miracle material. I had a second miracle when I actually mentally realized that this was a miracle. So-I got up and out of my bed at 5:10 am and got ready to go to the gym.

Perhaps my body is going to kick in now. Perhaps the scale will move from it's permanently frozen number. Perhaps my pants will start to fit better and then get too big for me!~

Perhaps the moon and stars will stay aligned for a while longer!~

I did it!

I ran 2 miles tonight~! I ran 1 mile before I had to stop and walk. I then only walked for a bit and then ran the entire way home! I was very slow(as always) but I felt stronger, like my body is finally adapting to harder and more regular exercise. This is a good thing! I am hoping that my foot will not be angry with me tomorrow. It has been about the same--whether I exercise or not, it hurts some.

I actually managed to get my sorry carcass out of bed this morning and at the gym by 5:45 am! I did a cycle(spin) class. I don't know if it was just dark and early but I didn't really love spin at 6:00 am. I usually really like to do the bike. Perhaps it was just a hormonal me?

Anyone ever watch NBC's Biggest Loser? We have been. I just want to lose at least 2 pounds a week. Is that too much to ask? What is up with my body? Do I have to exercise 3 hours every day to get over this plateau?

It makes me crazy!!!

Good Week

Last week ended on a rather rough note. Read---Mom was crabby!

So, this is going to be a much better week! No cheesecake, only healthy food and LOTS of exercise!

Who is with me?

Tired--really-really tired!

I have been tired. Really, really tired. The kind of tired that only happens as the light changes in the fall. My 5:00 am workouts have been non existent(I did make Monday). I have barely had enough umph to go later. Then it gets DARK at 5:30 p.m.

I have struggled with Seasonal Affective Disorder for years. It took me a few years to really understand what was happening. I just thought that I was turning into Cruella DeVille and everyone else was getting really stupid!~

Now I understand that SAD(as it is shortened) is a real condition and many people suffer with it to varying degrees. Some people just get tired and lethargic. Others get mildly depressed. Still others get severely depressed. Some people have called it the "winter blues". It all has to do with light---or more accurately--LACK of light. Sunlight goes into our eyes and then creates serotonin in our brains. Serotonin is like a "happy" drug. It helps with mood. In the fall the light changes as the earth rotates differently. Therefore, there is less sunlight going into our eyes. With less light the body make more melatonin, which is the "sleepy" drug in our bodies. They are both necessary but in the winter months-with less sunlight the melatonin goes into overdrive for many people, making us want to hibernate. Since we are not cave men that need to store excess and sleep during the winter we have to help our bodies overcome the need to hibernate!~

Think about it--you wake up in the dark, go to work or school and then come home in the dark. It is COLD. It is difficult to get enough sunlight!~ We have to force ourselves to go outside, even in the cold to get some sunlight in the middle of the day. Sit by a bright window, take off the sunglasses for a few minutes. There are also light boxes that can be purchased with special lights. People sit by these lights in the morning for 15-45 minutes(depending on severity). This is a real treatment. I didn't make it up! The light helps create the serotonin, therefore helping with the irritability, depressive moods, sleepiness etc.

Why am I writing all this down? Because I am tired. I went to bed at 8:30 last night and didn't get out of my bed until 8:30 am this morning.

That is a lot of sleep!

I am looking into a dawn simulator. It is basically a timer that you hook to your nightstand lamp(some have their own lights) . You set it to the time you need to be awake and it will start to slowly turn your light on. The theory is that our brains circadian rhythms are affected by light. We see light through our eyelids. This slow introduction of light signals the brain to stop the sleep cycle it is in thus making our bodies wake up--instead of being jolted out of the sleep cycle by a blaring alarm clock. It is suppose to make you feel less groggy throughout the day as well.

Let's hope that it works because I don't think that I get to have 12 hours of sleep very often with my life!

All in All

Thursday-late--

Ever wonder where the week goes? I start the week with such high hopes. So many possibilities. Then it is Friday and my laundry is still a wreck!

Oh, well.

I read 32 books, kissed 23 boo boos, made oatmeal 5 times, lunch 4 times, gave good night hugs 15 times(we need extra of those), cooked dinner 3 times, listened to silliness 48 times, said "I love you--Never enough times!~, got some polka dot kisses, carried sleepy boy to bed, said prayers, read scriptures and looked at the beautiful sky.

All in all it has been a good week.

Today I did something hard

I ran today!~



It felt good.



I was slow but I did it!



I am going to try it again tomorrow!

Monday Morning

Ever just KNOW that you are having a hormone induced bad day? I did--yesterday. I was planning to attend Sacrament Meeting at Mr. Sweetness' ward. However, after going to 3 hours of my own meetings I just didn't have it in me. I came home and climbed in my bed. Lucky for me my children were incredibly well behaved and I got to stay in my bed-without any screaming.

By later evening I was doing much better. I even made cookies. Shocking, I know. I even ate a couple. They weren't that good but Mr. Sweetness loved them. Snickerdoodles are his favorite.

After having such a day I knew that I had to get back on the merry go round. So, I got my sorry butt up and made it to the gym this morning--albeit 15 minutes late. I did get there though and that is 2/3 of the battle for me.

What do you do when you are in a bit of a funk? I have to find ways to keep me out of them. I don't like myself when I am in one.

So---it is Monday. I am trying to stay home. I have cleaned my big tub, vacuumed up hundreds of dead bugs(sick little creatures--I have sprayed twice-I hope that they are all dead soon!).
I am going to vacuum my bedroom, try and pick it up some more(big project) and work on every other mess in my house. I am trying to stay motivated and get "caught up" enough that I can work on a little sewing project.

*clean kitchen
*vacuum carpet
*clean bathrooms
*laundry
*laundry
*laundry
*straighten up basement
*prepare for preschool
*50 other things that need done but never make it to the list!

Creativity-Talents-Happiness

I just loved this talk recently. Our church's General Conference was a couple of weeks ago. It was food for a hungry soul.

This part of President Dieter F. Uchtdorf's talk just spoke to me. We are often so hard on ourselves. I have often been heard saying that I was out in the hall talking the day that the talents were being passed out. Well, hopefully, I can remember this!

"You may think you don't have talents, but that is a false assumption, for we all have talents and gifts, every one of us. The bounds of creativity extend far beyond the limits of a canvas or a sheet of paper and do not require a brush, a pen, or the keys of a piano. Creation means bringing into existence something that did not exist before—colorful gardens, harmonious homes, family memories, flowing laughter.What you create doesn't have to be perfect. Don't let fear of failure discourage you. Don't let the voice of critics paralyze you—whether that voice comes from the outside or the inside.
As you take the normal opportunities of your daily life and create something of beauty and helpfulness, you improve not only the world around you but also the world within you.
I believe that as you create beauty and as you are compassionate to others—God will encircle you in the arms of His love. Discouragement, inadequacy, and weariness will give way to a life of meaning, grace, and fulfillment."

Time out

Step away from the computer! Step away!

Heavenly Fire

"There is in every true woman's heart, a spark of heavenly fire, which lies dormant in the broad daylight of prosperity, but which kindles up and beams and blazes in the dark hour of adversity." -Washington Irving


Ever wonder if you have that heavenly fire? I often berate myself for all the things that I am not doing "good enough." I have dirty baseboards, dirty carpet, dusty shelves, goobers on the wall, laundry that is overtaking the house, I haven't seen the top of my dresser for more than a year. I am not very patient, I don't read my scriptures enough, our family home evenings are not very well planned, my food storage is quite minimal, I yell too much, I eat too much, don't exercise enough, don't write thank you notes. And on and on and on----

Yet--if one of my children is hurting the Momma Bear in me comes out. I have always known this--Now I have a new term --

Heavenly Fire

I like the sound of it.

Happy 4th Birthday!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

We have been celebrating Little Man's 4th birthday! We had a BIG DAY on Friday. Grandma took us to Salt Lake City on the Front Liner commuter train! It is newly opened and had not been on it yet. After we rode the train we rode the light rail Trax and then went to Build a Bear to make a birthday animal! My little one has been so excited about going. He has known that he got to go when he turned 4 for almost a year!

What an excited little boy! He was a joy.

This little boy has been such a blessing to our family. He was our 2nd bonus baby! We had accepted that no more babies were coming to our family. We were used to the number 3. When he decided to join our family it was a shocker!

We are so grateful to have him in our family. He has been full of energy, love, kisses and joy. All of his older siblings just love him.

Happy Birthday-birthday boy!

The nice green H on my wall is birthday boy's art work. He thought that it looked pretty!

Growing

"Time flies!"

I remember when I would just shake my head when "older" people would talk about how fast time goes. I remember just wanting it to go faster so I would be 12, 16, graduate, go to college, etc.

Now I understand.

My son is now 12. This is a very important age in our church(LDS). At 12 most boys are interviewed and if found worthy they are given the Priesthood. Which is a very rich blessing! They begin as Deacons and have certain responsibilities that they take care of.

Today my son left to gather Fast offerings. These are donations from members that are used to help people in need. They are called fast offerings because as members we are encouraged to fast for two meals once a month. The money that we would have spent on those two meals can be donated to help those that are in need. In our church services today he will help prepare and pass the Sacrament to the congregation.

Time flies---Now I understand.

Cold

The weather is turning COLD!!!! It was just bitter at 5:00 am when I went to the gym. By about 10:45 am I was able to go outside with the preschool children. The afternoon class was blessed that it was beautiful. By the time class ended at 3:00 pm it was freezing!

I am not really ready for winter. Now let me preface this---I love to ski, so I like parts of winter. However, there are parts that I struggle with. Dark, dark afternoons and evenings. It seems like there is just not enough sunlight. Because of this I struggle, I am much more tired. I struggle with irritability and frustration. I also hate the messy wet garage full of wet, stinky shoes and snow clothes.

Because I am trying to be more positive and enjoy my life today, I have decided to list all the things that I DO like about winter. Please feel free to remind me of these when I start complaining!

*Cold mornings when the snow just sparkles like diamonds.

* Wrapping up in blankets by the fireplace---particularly at my Momma's!

*Going outside and breathing in the bitter cold air.

*The smell of wood burning stoves.

*The quiet of the snow at night.

*How beautiful everything is after a snowstorm. All the trees branches are covered, it just looks like a fairy land.

*How clean things look with a new blanket of snow.

*The crunch of the snow when it is very cold--remember---I grew up in Idaho where it gets VERY COLD!

*Snow angels

*Listening to my children's squeals of delight as they sled down the hill.

*Snow Days--unfortunately for my children, these do not happen here. I grew up with them and I miss them, nothing like Mom coming in early and telling us we didn't have to go to school!

*A beautiful sunny ski day after a great storm

Something I miss---going to my grandparent's after skiing or snowmobiling and sitting by their woodstove to get warm. We would then go into the kitchen and have Grandma's chili with rolls that she would make in muffin tins. They always had these huge tops on them. My Grandma wasn't a very talkative person. She showed you she loved you by cooking. Her chili was always full of love. I have never liked canned chili--perhaps it is just not packed with enough love!

After we were stuffed we would lay on their shag carpet and watch Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom followed by the Lawrence Welk show.

Winter is on its way--what memories will my children have?

Remembering

My #2 child is in 6th grade. He is taller than I am and I am certain he is smarter, he just doesn't have any life experience yet.

Why am I writing this? I have a tiny wallet picture of my sixth grade teacher sitting here on my desk. It has been sitting here since my Mom came and we scanned hundreds of old pictures. This is one that she said I might as well have.

Have you ever had people in your life that have changed you? Mrs. Orgille was one of those people. My brother was one year ahead of me in school. He had Mrs. Orgille first. She thought he was the cat's meow. She just loved him and his curly blonde hair. She actually cut a lock of his beautiful curls so that she could always have something to remember him by. Vance loved her as well.

Mrs. Orgille scared me to death the first week of sixth grade! I will never forget her showing us what would happen if we stole out of her desk--she slammed the drawer closed HARD! I was certain that my brother had been mistaken about her!

As the year progressed I quickly knew why Vance had loved her so. She had a way about her. She knew how to make you feel good about yourself. At sixth grade this is so vital. I was one of the biggest kids in my grade. I had all my height early--then never got any more! I had ugly glasses and ugly hair---what were we all thinking in the late 70's, early 80's with all those tight curly perms?

I remember Mrs. Orgille giving me a ride home one time. I am not sure why. However, I remember that she told me that I could turn a big assignment in a few days late. It was just between us. I remember when I went to school and she started calling for that assignment, I was so nervous. She just said my name and checked it off. Looking back, I realize that she was probably more aware of some problems that were happening with one of my older siblings than I really was. She was probably trying to give me all the extra love she could, just to help.

I remember another big project we had. We had to make very large story books with the illustrations. They didn't have to be our own story. We could tell a printed story. I chose Goldilocks and the Three bears. We worked and worked on those books. Then we went to the younger classes and read our stories to them. I remember when she came and asked me privately if she could keep my book--she liked it so much that she wanted to keep it to use. I felt like I had won the lottery. I wasn't the only one that she selected. However, she didn't select every students. It was a quiet thing. But it was a huge thing for me!

Mrs. Orgille had a way about her that everyone loved.

Fast forward a few years. I remember her coming to my Dad's funeral and just hugging my brother and I so tightly. I remember her coming to visit, just because, with her purple Berkenstock sandals(she loved purple). I remember her coming to my wedding reception and just beaming like she was my grandmother. I remember being at my sweet cousin's two month old baby's funeral---she came after the funeral, just frantic because she had just heard. My cousin had had her as well. She came in and just loved my cousin, like she loved me and every other student she had ever had. When she saw you she just beamed. She would always say "How's my girl?" Then she would say "how's that favorite boy of mine?" (meaning my cute brother).

Why am I writing all this down? She was probably the first person (besides my parents) that I ever truly felt really believed in me. Perhaps it was just because I was maturing but I don't think so. I think that Mrs. Orgille had a gift. Her gift was that she was able to see the diamond in the lump of coal. She didn't care if you were the cutest girl or the kid from the wrong side of the tracks. She was able to love you just because you were you.

I found out Mrs. Orgille passed away last summer. I would have loved to visit with her again.

She is one of my all time favorite people.

I hope that one day I can grow up to be like her.

Noise

I am in our den listening to #3 and her cousin and friend play Wii Rockband. It is one of those things that is so awful that you have to just laugh!

For those of you that are not familiar(yet) with Rockband--it is a computer simulated rock concert. It comes with a guitar, microphone and drum set. The idea is to hit the drums at the right notes, sing at the right beat and pitch and play the guitar. Well, Miss #3 is downstairs on mic---she is literally screaming! This whole Wii thing was something that I have put off/avoided for the last couple of years. Mainly because I think that video games and all things like them are the biggest time waster and brain drain around. I have told #2 that I want him to grow up to be a man not a couch potato. Well, we succumbed to the Wii recently. This Rockband is hysterical to watch--for about 30 seconds! That is how long I can actually stand listening to any of my children sing. Unfortunately for them, they sing like me. That is not really a good thing.

I will say that the Rock band has been a great thing to have the kids at MY HOUSE. They are also really working together, laughing, playing and just being silly. That is a good thing.

Now where are those earplugs?

My recent quest

I am on a quest. I am buying new couches. This sounds simple enough. Go to the furniture store, pick something I like, buy it, wait for it to be delivered.

This is what has happened in the past. Take husband. Walk around and around until he finds something that he likes. I don't like it so we keep looking.

4 1/2 years ago I went on a couch quest. I thought that I had found them. I bought them and waited for them to be delivered. When they arrived I tried to convince myself that I liked them. I knew right away that they were not something that I loved. I tried for days and days to love them. I just couldn't do it. So, I sent them back, and the glider that I got just because it was close to something that would coordinate(it was ugly but hubby is a rocker---I was trying to please him).

I attempt again. This time I decide to get two recliners instead of a sofa. Leather is always good.
I should have had them put them back on the truck. I knew the minute they were in my house that I hated them. The leather looked like a bad spray paint job. So, these too got sent back!

I stopped shopping for furniture for awhile. I thought that it wasn't a good idea to shop while pregnant. A year or so later I found some furniture for the piano room. Hubby thought that he hated it in the store. I loved it, still do! It is the most comfortable furniture and it looks great too!

We went to buy a headboard. Hubby went with me. I felt pressured by he and the awful salesman. I knew right then and there that I didn't really love the bed but I thought that it would do. I called the next day and canceled the order--I knew it wasn't what I wanted. I will not spend money on something that I don't feel completely comfortable with.

While shopping with Tina I found the headboard/footboard I wanted. I love it---from the first moment.

Last year I needed a dining room table.(Six didn't fit around our 17 year old Shopko special) I looked and looked---by myself. I chose a table and chairs. Mr. Sweetness told the kids to not get attached, it would be gone by Tuesday! I Love my table. I have had it a year and I still love it!

Moral of this story? Don't take Mr. Sweetness shopping! It only took 18 years and two sets of returned furniture for him to relinquish the shopping to me! Now if only I was sure about what to get. The furniture is changing. 1/2 of the choices are HUGE sectionals. Some of them are gorgeous--but they will not work in my house. There are so many that are so ugly! I have gone around RC Willey's numerous times trying to dodge the same salesman that pressured me before. He wouldn't leave me alone! Talk about the hard sale!

I have found a couch and loveseat that I think that I like. I am going to go to a different showroom to see how it looks there. Why is this so hard?

I am officially old!--Mr. Sweetness said so!

Wow! What a week!

Tuesday was my 40th birthday! Yes, I dare say it! To this point I have never been embarrassed about my age. I grew up with a Mom that didn't feel it necessary to hide her age. I hope that I can be so gracious!

Well, our life is a little nuts at times. OK, all the time! With Sweetness as a Bishop, four children, preschool and scouts there is always something going on.

Last week I asked my sweet hubby if he would take Friday or Monday off so we could go and do something for my birthday. I knew that Tuesday wouldn't be great because I teach and he has Bishop obligations. Well, he didn't jump at the chance. He him hawed around about it being the end of the month, he was going fishing at the end of next week, etc. etc. I asked him if he was giving me a party and he said no--Do you want one" yes, I said!" So we looked at a calendar and decided that it would have to wait until he got home from fishing and I would have to do it myself because he isn't creative like that.

I was a bit disappointed but such is life. He is a super busy guy. I will cut him some slack.

Tuesday morning #2 and I go to the gym at 5:15 am. We work out and then arrive home. Mr. Sweetness is sitting there in the chair freshly showered and dressed. He hands me a birthday card--nothing else. I was hoping that he went and bought me a laptop! I am reading the silly card and finally get to the last page.

It says, "Go get ready, we are leaving in thirty minutes!" I look at him and ask "are you serious?" Yes-but you actually have about an hour!" I look at the piece of paper with the card and we are going to San Diego, CA!!!!!

I have a little moment of freaking out---what about preschool--15 parents to call, scouts to call, children to arrange, therapy pickup, football, piano etc.!!!!

"It is all handled-get in the shower!"

So, I do! I get ready, pack enough for one day-carry on only. My sweet #2 Man-boy brings me in a piece of chocolate cake with an "over the hill" candle and has me blow it out. (Sad I didn't get a picture of him with it!) We give everyone kisses and leave for the airport!

I was TOTALLY SURPRISED! I am usually quite aware of what my Sweet hubby is doing. He isn't very good at keeping secrets. He will just him haw around things. Like, where would you like to go if you could go on a little vacation? I suspected NOTHING!

We get to the airport, eat breakfast. Board plane and I sleep! (not terribly romantic!)

We get to San Diego and go to get the rental car---it is a CONVERTIBLE!!!! It was so much fun!

We drive to the room, it is on a little jetty type of island surrounded by beautiful yaughts. Our room is around a little walkway with old trees, tropical flowering plants, little stepping stones and looks directly to the water!



We open the door and there is the biggest bouquet of roses I have ever seen! He ordered me 40 roses! 40!( I told him the next time I get this many roses it will probably be on my casket!) A little bit later six chocolate covered strawberries arrive! He just thought of everything!



We went to Pacific beach, one of our favorite little places. It has such a beachy, surfer flair to it. We walked the boardwalk, then walked the beach. It was a perfect weather day. There was a breeze, but just the right amount so that we weren't too hot. There were tons of kite surfers that were so interesting to watch. We just sat and soaked in the beautiful sunshine and drank in the fresh smell of the ocean.







After spending most of the day at the beach we decided to go to Old Town San Diego. We have been there before. There is a Mexican restaurant that we like to go to. It is in the center of this old Spanish mission. It is an open air restaurant with flowers, birds etc.

After dinner we came back to the hotel and went to the hot tub--very very hot. ( I don't do that kind of heat)

The rest of the night will remain unblogged!

Wednesday morning we went back to Pacific Beach to Kono's. It is just a really surfer/beachy breakfast place. They give you more food than you should eat!, and it is so good. We go to look at my favorite bike shop and it wasn't open yet. I was sad--someday I am going to get one of these cool beach cruiser bikes!


It was a fabulous birthday! My Mr. Sweetness really outdid himself! I am a very lucky girl!












My sweet niece blogged about me and my birthday on her blog--check it out--funny old pictures and some bad new pictures! Love you Chrikee!