Part of the plan?

I am becoming a runner. I will be a runner. I will run a 10K this year.

Today I ran about 3 miles again. Had to stop for a minute at the 1/2 way point.

Came home and realized that I had bird poop on my shoulder!

I ran almost 3 miles!

To become a runner

I want to become a runner.

I have been talking about this for years. Well--yesterday I actually made progress!
I ran 1.9 miles without stopping! This is big news for me! Two years ago, before I hurt my foot I had finally worked up to 4.5 miles. Since the injury I haven't been able to get beyond 2 without my foot really hurting for days. So, I was aware of my foot after the run yesterday and it is slightly noticeable today but nothing like it has been forever. Perhaps I am on the mend. Perhaps I can actually get passed the 3 mile hurdle. I have read so many peoples thoughts about running, saying that the first 3 miles are the hardest. So---I am getting closer! I am taking days off in between for protection of the foot--maybe someday I can run more often!

Hopefully, someday I will be able to run a bit faster than that man!

Wow--it is already June 24th! That date feels like summer must have been around for at least two months instead of the two days of loveliness we have had. Yesterday was a beautiful, sunny day. We had a swimming party last night with the entire student LDS stake(group of small congregations). It was fun to watch the little man start to be more comfortable in the water. Comfortable enough that I had to watch him like a hawk! He has just stayed out of it up until now.

My house is still a wreck-it must just be the way my life is going to be. I have tried to change this trend--for about 16 years. Sometimes it is at a dull roar that I can handle. Usually, it is just much more chaotic than I truly can deal with. The problem lies in between! How to keep it rolling along without falling apart. Consistency---that is the problem! I struggle keeping my children consistent (and myself). I struggle because I feel that my children have been taught but they seem to have not learned! Is this because I have not truly taught them or because they are still young? They are all bright children-I feel that they have been taught--do we have to go through the same teaching routine until they are 21? I have good friends who seem to be much more on top of things than I. Is this because they have taught their children better than I or because their children are smarter-more obedient than mine---OR because they PERSONALLY are more on top of things?
I am leaning towards the latter. I think that most children do not really learn to intrinsically care about things until they are much older. They see every single mess as something that is Mom's responsibility. I have not encouraged this. It just seems to be the way that they are wired.

So, my role as Mother is to teach and nurture my children. I continue to read and read and to teach and teach. The question remains ; how to keep the mother consistent without being a bit over the fence. I have friends that will never let their children have friends over because the kids will make messes. They have to wear socks at all times because toes leave toeprints on the floor. There is no pancake making by nine year olds, no art time for the four year olds. There are no tents built. I am NOT willing to live like that---however, their houses are much cleaner than mine! How do I find the balance? That must be the key. BALANCE.

How do you find BALANCE?

Sunshine!

I hate to jinx it---The Sun is Shining in my world!!!

I hope that this will be a trend, we are all a bit tired of pouring rain. I have had very little energy(what's new?) and I am usually much more energetic in the summer. I usually wake up early because of the wonderful light. Not this summer. I still feel like it is January!

I am hoping to be able to really run again. Now when I say run, it really means moving a bit faster than walking. My first born likes to tell me that I don't pick my feet up when I run. I have been trying to run a few(when it isn't raining) times a week. I am only up to two miles---however---the best part is that my dumb foot HAS NOT HURT! That is huge! It has been two full years since my plantar faciitis started to bother me. I am hoping that I will be able to get to three miles very soon and then up to at least six. It is a personal thing---before I am dead I would like to actually try a 10K---maybe even a 1/2 marathon.

I hope that it is lovely all day!

Rain Rain

Rain Rain go away ---come again another day!

I have decided that the Lazy days of Summer is something that exists in childhood and is something that we continually long for in adulthood.

These images are where my summer dreams were developed. This is my childhood home. The porch swing has been there almost my entire life. The other beautiful additions have been added here and there by my talented Mom.

This porch is where I read Charlotte's Webb 10 times in the same summer. I learned about Kindred Spirits by reading Anne of Green Gables on this porch swing. I took naps on this swing in the warm summer air, always protected from the sun. I woke up to the sound of the swing, Mom would be reading the morning paper .

This porch is where we would watch the world drive by and we would sit and visit, read, eat and just be. Those precious moments of summer.

This is what I long for now as an adult. The truth for me is that I don't have a front porch with a beautiful expanse to create a little outdoor garden space. Another truth is that right now I am in the middle of raising my children-there is very little time for me to sit anywhere and read anything, much less take a nap on the swing in the breeze.

As an adult I realize that my Mom wasn't on the swing nearly as much as I was--she was the Mom after all. There was laundry, dishes and other needs to be attended to. However, my Mom took solace in her porch swing(still does). It is like therapy. She has mastered the art of catching moments, moments that help to buoy and strengthen the soul. She has figured out how to do many things outside on that porch swing. If there is nice weather and it is portable it can be done on the front porch.

I miss the sound of the front door opening below my bedroom and the familiar sound of the swing being put into motion. I miss coming down the stairs looking out and seeing her still in her p.j.'s reading the morning paper.

I miss being a kid. I miss this porch.

Brittany's Baby Shower

This past weekend we headed to Idaho to attend a baby shower for my niece Brittany. We had silly games such as diaper a balloon and decorate a onesie. I got quite creative with my onesie and actually ended up doing two. They turned out so very cute.
It was fun to visit with Aunts and cousins.
My other niece Gina made the adorable diaper cake. She is much more creative than she gives herself credit for!
We arrived home at 12:04 am---Sunday night/Monday morning-we got stuck in traffic from a terrible accident. You know it is bad when you see the helicopter come in. It was a fast and furious weekend but it was still nice to go home, even if only for a bit.

Winner!

Winner of the giveaway? All of you! I have such high traffic that I personally know and love all four of you who commented. So---I will be sending or bringing if you live close by----a cute little something.

Thanks for reading. Also--thanks for the ideas. I still just want to sit on a porch swing reading a good book and have my children happily playing or reading nearby. I know---it is a pipe dream.

GiveAway!

I am trying to stave off a self imposed pity party. I am not sure of it's beginnings. Perhaps it is the rain that won't go away---don't I live in a desert--not the Pacific Northwest? Perhaps it is because I have a couple of children that I worry about constantly--they are too old to really play just because it is fun,but yet too young for me to not worry about incessantly.They are not old enough that I want them to hangout with the same kids for hours and hours--there always seems to be trouble. They are also not old enough that anyone will hire them--yet they NEED to be working. They are also just old enough that I am no longer very cool. In fact, I have been called handicapped and overprotective recently. I have also been accused of never caring about certain children.

So---instead of completely wallowing in my own little pity party I would like to do a give away. They happen on other peoples blog. People that actually are "famous" in one way or another. I am not one of those people. So---I don't have really cool programs or books to give away but---I will make a special little package--with something really cute in it. Just leave a comment as to how you deal with the trials of summer and I will randomly pick a winner! I will choose a winner on Thursday.

Summer is here!

Summer has officially begun around our house! This brings with it mixed feelings. When all my kids were little it was easy because I was their entertainment! They were always happy riding their scooters, playing with neighbors, an occasional treat. Now that I have such varying ages it is more difficult. I also struggle because I just hate the extra messes that are created. Truth is, my kids are a bit piggy. They also don't think that they should have to actually help around the house---after all it is summer vacation. Well, this Momma has news for them! Hopefully, I will just enjoy the summer and be able to keep them on top of their chores and their whereabouts and all will be well!!

I am hoping to actually upload some pictures soon-we have had lots of fun things lately. I just don't like to be on the computer when the kids are around---it sends a bad message---they then want to spend lots of time on the computer!

Why?

I am one of those people that is over critical of myself. It is usually easy to find wonderful, good things in other people. I can overlook some of their faults or quirks because of the way that they were raised. I can look and see that they are usually really trying their hardest to make a good life.

When it comes to myself I can rarely see the good things that I do. I am always judging what I have done with what I KNOW I could or should be doing. Unfortunately, my Mr. Sweetness usually gets the brunt of me feeling inadequate--usually through irritation over a messy house, rude children, poor cooking etc.

Why is is that as women we do this? Why are we so eager to see the good in other people but are so terribly harsh on ourselves?

Monday

It is Monday---which side of the fence will I be on today? Well, luckily for me, my house is not a total wreck from the weekend so I don't feel as much despair from that. I managed to motivate myself enough to get the little man out of bed and head to the gym as soon as MissE got on the bus. It was almost a miracle , I actually stayed on the elliptical longer than I had planned, long enough that I can honestly consider it a good workout! I was stinky and sweaty-and it felt good!

Perhaps I will finally be able to come out of this deep dark winter that has held my energy hostage for the last 6 months!