Summer is finally here!

School is officially over for another year! We have gone on a vacation(lake powell), eaten burgers and chips, slept in, gone to the park, played baseball, started a cleanup project(yucky garage), gone to the library and now ---- enjoying a movie--OUTSIDE!

Now that's what summer is for!!!!

Happy 19th Birthday!

May 22!
Ashley turned 19!! How did this happen?

Shining

Today in my reading I came across this thought.  I understood it.  It resonates with my soul. 


{Streams in the Desert devotionals compiled by Mrs. Chas E. Cowman, 1950} this spoke straight to my heart and I just feel like maybe by sharing it here it could speak to someone else too.
* * * * *
Shining is always costly. Light comes only at the cost of that which produces it. An unlit candle does no shining. Burning must come before shining. We cannot be of great use to others without cost to ourselves. Burning suggests suffering. We shrink from pain.
We are apt to feel that we are doing the greatest good in the world when we are strong, and able for active duty, and when the heart and hands are full of kindly service.
When we are called aside and can only suffer; when we are sick; when we are consumed with pain; when all our activities have been dropped, we feel that we are no longer of use, that we are not doing anything.
But if we are patient and submissive, it is almost certain that we are a greater blessing to the world in our time of suffering and pain than we were in the days when we thought we were doing the most of our work. We are burning now, and shining because we are burning.

Happy 12th Birthday!

Happy Birthday! 

I can hardly believe twelve years have passed!!!

I love you,

Mom

April? How did that happen?

I need to figure out how to write more. I have plenty that seems to happen in my life!  Why don't I blog it?  Who knows?

Happenings around here:
*Spring Break-Lake Mead, Nevada
*Easter-in Nevada
*Baseball
*Stake Conference
*Driving to St. George to repair car
*Emily's birthday

I also just realized that I have never actually posted any pictures of our California trip--back during Christmas!  I guess I need to get on with that!

March recap

March has gone quickly for me.  I asked Mr. Carrigan if it had for him and he said, emphatically "NO-I need a vacation!"   We better get one of those quickly.

We have been doing normal everyday things around here:

*Ashley was here for her Spring break. She spent a minute or two with us!
*Baseball practice and games for Mitch.  He is playing first base.
*Piano practice and lessons for Emily.  She is playing in the school talent show Friday.
*Lego building and then some more Lego building for Justin!
*Work, Church calling and neck therapy for Dave--he really does need a vacation!
*Laundry, Crossfit, groceries, dinner, taxi driving and trying to figure out which pile to dig into first for me!

We had an eventful St. Patric'ks Day!  The little naughty leprechaun came to our house for the very first time!  Justin was so very excited!  He spent an hour building a trap so he could try and catch him.  He woke up to stickers on his face, gold coins and treats! 
(he had everything gone before I woke up with a camera!)

While Ashley was here for her Spring Break she went to church with us.  Dave got home early from all his meetings so he came over to Sacrament meeting.  It was nice to have my entire family around me for church!   I know that there are new people that have moved in that don't know about Dave's calling in the YSA stake and think that I am a single Mom!

I am always moving-even if my house doesn't show it!!!  Life is busy but life is mostly good.

An Amazing Woman

My friend Sherie Wright passed away Saturday after a short but difficult battle with cancer.  Sherie was one of those people that had amazing oozing out of every fiber of her being.  She was not an amazing crafter or scrapbooker, she was a normal housekeeper.  Where Sherie's talents were was in her ability to love.

If you knew Sherie you knew that she cared about you.  She volunteered for years at the high school helping the seniors with applications for college.  She was there almost as much as a teacher.  I am sure that many students actually thought that she was a counselor.  My own daughter Ashley was helped greatly.

Sherie also had the strongest testimony of our Savior.  When she walked into a room that room was brightened by the Spirit that Sherie was able to bring with her.  She loved the Savior and was so willing to share that love with others. 

Sherie will be missed.  She was far too young to go.  I worry about her sweet husband Kelley and about her seventh son Tim who is serving a mission in Spain.  They will be in our prayers for a very long time.

Fifteen years ago I had a three month old baby.  My sister in law Christine had a six week old baby.  Christine had emergency tonsillitis surgery on Christmas Eve.  Baby Whitney had never had a bottle, so I nursed both babies for four days.  It was a bit rough.  Dave and I just took turns holding which ever baby I wasn't nursing.  Ashley(3) and Jess(5) basically just took care of themselves.  I am not sure we ever really fixed them food!  We survived Christmas day and then the next few days. 

Sherie was Christine's visiting teacher.  When Sherie heard Christine was sick she called to see how she could help her.  Christine wasn't going anywhere for a few days and no one was in her home.  At this point Sherie realized that it was me who could use some help.  She had her daughter Sara come over with strict instructions to "just do what needs done."   She cleaned up a terribly messy kitchen, vacuumed and held babies so I could shower.   I have never forgotten this sweet gesture from Sherie.  It was a simple thing but it meant a lot to me.  Those babies are both almost sixteen now!!

Death is one of the great struggles of this life.  Those left behind are so desperately saddened by the loss. 

Sherie affected all those she came into contact with for good.  She is a role model for all of us to emulate.

Happy Birthday-Dad!

Today would have been my Dad's 71st birthday.  Not a day goes by that I don't miss him.  Not a day goes by that I don't wonder what he would think of my life and choices.

I hope he is proud of me for trying to be a decent Mom.  Proud of me for finishing college.  Proud of me for staying married-for choosing a really great man. Proud of me for being a survivor, not a victim.

I am grateful for the 19 years I got to have him in my life.  I am glad that I got to go fishing, rock-hunting, horseback riding(even if they always ran away with me!) and all the many other ordinary things that made up our lives.  I am better because he was part of my life.

Sunday Morning

    We have a late starting church service this year.  It doesn't begin until 1:00-lasting until 4:00.  I have often said I prefer early church.  I get to have a nap!  When church is over at 4:00 there is no nap!  However, I am starting to really enjoy the calm, nothingness of our Sunday mornings.  Sweet SugarDaddy has to leave super early for his church responsibilities with the Young Single Adults.  He is gone by 6:30am.

     The calm of Sunday morning is lovely.  I actually sleep in, which for me is so amazing.  My kids sleep till they don't want to sleep anymore.  That actually means that the little man Justin is the first one up.  I hear him.  He goes in the living room and pulls out his legos and starts to build.  He is such a good little builder.  He occasionally turns on a cartoon.  I get up awhile after him and start to putter around in my robe.  I unload the dishwasher and generally reload it!(those dishes are always there!) I pick a few things up, move a few things around, put a roast in the crock pot for supper. 

  At some point Miss Emily appears. Even later Mitch arises.  He is often showered and ready to go help with his church responsibilities.  No fuss, no yelling, just doing what is expected. Such a blessing.

    I thought that I would really dislike having later church time.  I am beginning to really love it.  There are elements that I miss.  Sunday afternoon naps and a long afternoon to visit with friends or family. 

    For now I am just going to enjoy the quiet and calm.

Passing of Time

(Warning-Mom-you will cry when you read this. Get a tissue or skip it)

   Back in February we had a dance recital for Miss Emily. It was on Saturday. We did this and that before we needed to have her to Layton. We watched the entire recital(I actually fell asleep during some of it!

   We went home and then just did normal everyday Saturday things. Laundry, dishes, tinkering. It was a pretty average, uneventful Saturday.

   Sunday morning I startled awake realizing that the date for this Sunday morning was February 12th. That means that the day before was February 11th.

   Twenty four years ago on February 11th my Dad tragically took his own life. Life for our family has been permanently altered and sent on a different path than it was on before.

   I remember thinking that I would never ever have a year that I wouldn't think about my Dad's death on the day he died. I would always remember and always call my Mom.

   On this February 11th day, twenty four years later I forgot.

   At first realization I was shocked and saddened that I had forgotten. Then a feeling came over me that I am grateful for. I had the strongest feeling that I was doing what I was supposed to be doing. Living my life. Watching my daughter dance. Making lunch, dinner and doing dishes. I had a very, very ordinary day.

   I don't think that a day has ever passed that I don't think of my Dad. I have pictures of him in my house. I see things while driving that remind me of him. I say things that I learned from him. However, these things are almost always about his LIFE not his death.

   I think that my Dad would be glad that I had this day. That I have been able to have a life, a good life. I am not healed from his death, but the scab has healed nicely. It rarely bleeds anymore. Even more rarely is the scab ripped off and left raw and gapping. I am grateful for this, it is hard to LIVE when one is raw and bleeding all the time.

   I decided that perhaps the lesson that I learned from February 11, 2012 is that I want to remember my Dad for his life not his tragic death. I want to celebrate all the wonderful, ordinary days that I got to spend with my Dad.

   Those are the blessings.

Pantry update!

The pantry is coming along! Crazy that it is taking me weeks to finish it!

I emptied out one side of the floor and three corners-pulling out of those spots anything that is not supposed to live in the pantry. Once again by pulling out that few of spaces, my large dining table was completely covered!

What did I find? Leftover Christmas cards for the last two years, sewing fabric supplies from two Christmases ago. A pair of Levi's, a pair of men's slacks, enough craft supplies - ribbon, glue, etc. to fill a basket and three large bags of flour!

The flour is a funny story. Before Christmas, sweet hubby wanted to make G. Grandma's shortbread. I told him we didn't have any flour. I went to the store and bought flour. He went to make the shortbread and we discovered we had flour but no sugar. We borrowed sugar. After Christmas I went to the store. I remembered that we needed FLOUR and bought some. I came home to realize again that it was sugar I needed! So I have two huge bags of flour !!! I did finally get sugar! I do not however need 50 pounds of flour in my pantry! I have a food storage room!

I stopped pulling things out when the table was full! I am happy to report that I have now put away, thrown away or given away everything from the table!!

All this mess and I haven't even touched the food part of the pantry!!!

St. George weekend

Our high school girls and boys basketball teams both made it to the state tournament this year. The games happened to be in St. George! We decided to make a weekend of it and go visit our favorite college freshman!

Unfortunately both teams lost their first games - so they were no longer in championship running. We drove the five hours - with permit carrying Mitch driving the entire way!

We spent the weekend going to games, swimming at the hotel, eating and playing some. We were glad to spend some time with Ashley. We also spent Saturday evening with our friends the Ewings. We went shooting by their house. Ash and I both actually shot the shotguns. Scared me to death! Ash actually hit a few targets!

I didn't think to take many pictures. I used to take a thousand. Now- not so much!!!

We had fun. We actually went to church in Hurricane- they actually beat Morgan in the first game and then won the championship!

Here I Go!! Pantry Rescue!!

It is that time again!

The time when I start to feel like my pantry is vomiting all over me! I am so blessed-I have a beautiful, large walk in pantry. Because it is so large it is also a multitasking workspace. It is part food pantry, part art/homework station, part appliance storage and part family history storage space. All that means is that this large space is used for much much more than just normal food pantry items! It is a catch all for the entire family.

For ten years I have been trying to figure out how to utilize the space more efficiently. I have tried numerous different methods trying to keep the space from becoming a massive wreck.

The most successful thing to date has been the two three drawer units that house pencils, note card, scissors etc. There is a place fore the scissors and tape. I may be the only person that knows how to actually put them in the appropriate drawer but my family knows that scissors are generally in that drawer.

The rest of the huge space is a work in progress! A few years ago I added baskets with labels for all the canned and boxed foods. It has been fairly successful-until it isn't! That is where it is right now. The labels mean nothing!!

A year or so(maybe two) I decided that I needed a space for each child's papers. Things that we want to save and things we don't want to lose. I added three, three drawer units. I put names for each family member on a drawer. Those have been successful-except they are now full so they must be emptied. Those things that need to be saved need to be filed in their own files(which I do not have but am getting soon).




One huge problem that I haven't solved yet is the art/school supplies. The shelves are not wide enough for two drawer units-so I have had two open baskets. The problem with baskets is that they are open so they are asking for things to be shoved into them. No matter that the label says construction paper-if there is a space anything can be shoved in.

I am often overwhelmed by the enormity of a big project so I don't even begin. This is one of those projects. I decided that I would only tackle the art/school supplies and the cookbook collection. I emptied four shelves-FOUR and filled my dining room table!

I went through every single basket. I ended up throwing away two full kitchen garbage bags! That is a lot of extra garbage that has been shoved in open baskets! I had two drawer units left over from the last pantry overhaul. I decided that I would use them, even if they don't fit perfectly. Drawers work so-so much better for my family--for ME! If I have to actually open a drawer I will most likely only open it if it is the correct location. So--hopefully, these two drawers will alleviate a bit more "drop ins!"

Four Shelves down! Only FIFTEEN to go!!!(then the floor!!)

In the dust

I cleaned bathrooms the other day. My children have been on bathroom duty lately. Because of this, it was time for a little more than "a lick and a promise!" I started in our half bath. It is the most used toilet in the house. It is directly off the kitchen and garage. It was disgusting. I found the pumice stone and started removing the mineral deposits. I cringed through the entire process of that bathroom.

I moved on to the middle bathroom. It is used mostly by one little seven year old boy. He often uses it without turning on the light. I did the normal dialogue in my head. "I need a maid, toilet lids should last longer. Toilet lids should self clean. Does anyone ever know that I actually clean behind the toilet? Does anyone ever know that I clean the baseboards behind the toilet? No one ever notices a bathroom is clean, they only notice if it is dirty." I finished that toilet and moved on to my own bathroom.

My bathroom is a lovely bathroom with a garden tub inset in a bay window. (Why are they called a garden tub? Anyone ever seen one in a garden?) It has a lovely large mirror and walk in shower. It also seems to be a magnet for dust, lint and box elder bugs. I started the ritual on the toilet. This toilet isn't nearly as bad as the others, however, the same dialogue began. "Toilets should just come with a maid. We sent man to the moon, we should be able to make a toilet lid that the paint stays on with cleaning. I should swish and swipe this toilet every day, that isn't so hard. Why is there so much lint in this bathroom, more than any other in the house?" I continued cleaning the rest of the bathroom, moving to the counter and then to the tub. There are always a few tub toys hanging out on the edge, along with a spoon and a few pencils. I don't know why we have spoons in the tub.

As I am picking up the various toys and parts around the tub, I realize that the edge has once again become a bug graveyard. I go to get the vacuum. The dialogue begins again, "does anyone else actually vacuum out their tub? This is disgusting." I finish vacuuming the tub, begin wiping and look up at the three windows of wood blinds. They are covered in box elder bug leavings. I figure I might as well clean them while I am at it.

The process of cleaning these blinds is a bit labor intensive. They need to be dusted terribly. I go and get one of those swiffer things. Each individual slat has to be dusted, and they are divided in three. I start the process, dust the entire blind, then wipe down every single slat.

The dialogue that always seems to run in my head begins yet again. "These blinds are disgusting, I hate box elder bugs. What did Justin do, splash bubbles to the ceiling? How long has it been since these were cleaned? No one ever knows that I have spent two hours cleaning these blinds." The dialogue doesn't stop. I move to the next center blind, the largest of the three. "These blinds are starting to really get worn. I wonder if I should see if individual slats could be replaced. This slat is pealing a bit. They are ten years old." I continue the mental debate while I finish dusting, and wiping every single slat while standing precariously on the edge of the tub.

While standing on the edge of the tub, wedged in between the cupboard and the wall, I begin the third and final blind in the bathroom. The mental barrage of negativity begins again. I start to dust. As I am dusting a sudden thought enters my mind---and my heart---

"Sherie can't stand on her tub and dust her blinds."

My friend Sherie is battling cancer. It is very, very bad. She has lost much of her balance and most of her hair.

In that instant, my cleaning changed. I had a powerful epiphany that this mess that I was cleaning was actually full of blessings. I was physically able to stand precariously on the side of the tub while dusting and wiping those blinds. Those blinds, that moments before had looked old and worn out, were actually such a blessing. I have blinds and they have held up well for ten years. They are also on windows in a lovely, large bathroom that has running water, a toilet that flushes and a shower.

My heart was changed in that instant. I had spent almost two hours complaining in my mind that no one notices the clean bathrooms, only the dirty ones. In that instant I realized that I was blessed because I COULD CLEAN those bathrooms. I was blessed because I have those bathrooms. I was blessed to have those windows, blinds and tub. I am blessed because I have children that leave behind spoons that show they have played.

As I finished cleaning up that last blind and wiping down the tub I felt a huge deal of gratitude. I often feel quite alone in this motherhood/maid role that I play. I often feel that what I do doesn't really matter to anyone, no one actually knows that I do it.

In that instant, standing on my tub, I knew that "HE KNOWS I DO IT." I matter to Him.

Sweet angel boy

Justin is our bonus baby. We struggled getting our babies here. After using medication for our first two, I said never again. We were delighted when we were surprised with Emily. Surprised is not a big enough word for our reaction when we found out we were expecting Justin!

There are almost five years between Justin and Emily. That is a long time in kid years. Because of this large gap all the children really have enjoyed having a little person around. They just seem to get how sweet little people are.

This little boy is home sick today. 101.3 fever. Poor monkey!

I am so grateful that he is in our home and is still little. He is still so open and caring. Every morning I go into his room to wake him and with his eyes still closed he reaches up and wraps his arms around my neck. He just holds me there for awhile. It is in moments like that that I have glimpses of Heaven. A small feeling of how our Heavenly Father loves us. He reaches to comfort us, we just need to be still enough to feel his arms around us.

I am often frustrated by the large spacing of my children. They are all so far apart that none of them are ever in the same developmental stage. They all have a hard time relating to each other, forgetting that they could have ever acted "that" way. However, I am so glad that our family was blessed with a second bonus baby. It is such a blessing to have a little one in the house that helps us all to be a little closer to heaven. We need the reminder.

DO IT!

JUST DO IT! That slogan has become synonymous with Nike brand. That and their little swoosh sign. I just think it is about the best slogan out there. I remember when I was a girl Spencer W. Kimball was the President/Prophet of our church(LDS). He had a little plaque on his desk --it said simply--DO IT! I have loved that slogan for most of my life.

Why then do I procrastinate? What makes it so difficult to just get moving and Do It? I have lots of reasons why I haven't ran a half marathon. I have lots of reasons why I haven't cleaned out my pantry. Truth be told, however, they are all just excuses. I just don't do them. I find other things to do to use up my time. Some of them good, valid things that need done. Things like picking kids up from one place or taking them to another place. However, the reality is that I have not been ill. I am not working outside the home for 80 hours a week. I am not traveling around the country. Those are real, valid reason to not be on top of things. Me? I just didn't DO IT?

Today is February 1st. I actually used to really hate February. It happened 24 years ago when my Dad died in February. It just sucked the life out of the month. Something changed a couple of years ago. I had one of those Oprah Ah Ha! moments. I realized that I was allowing the tragedy of my Dad's death to hold me hostage the month of February. I made a conscious decision to never do it again. I decorated like crazy for Valentine's Day that year. I found darling Valentine's to share. I sent them to my friends, my old lonely Uncle, my Mom. I just sent them to people I love!

Guess what? That February was no longer a terrible, dark dreary month! Yes, I was very aware that February 11th was the 22 anniversary of my Dad's death. That will never change. What I did do was change how I reacted to it.

I haven't put any decor up yet. I have been using excuses.

Well, February is here. There are no more excuses. This is a month to be celebrated and enjoyed. I am going to try and remember President Kimball's example and DO IT! What ever that IT is!

Where did January go?

It is the very last day of January. As old as I am I should not be surprised by how quickly time moves, but I constantly am.

I looked around my house yesterday and realized that it still looks like we are moving! Removing all the Christmas decor really makes my house pale! I also noticed that I still have Christmas dishes in my plate rack, my wreath outside and a little tree behind the couches in the piano room. I also have not put anything on my piano or on my shelf in the stairway. My house looks empty. It needs some attention!

I am trying to decide which project to start first. The pantry(it is overflowing), the office(it is so deep we can't get to the closet) or my scrapbook/Emily's bedroom nightmare(it is just awful-poor girl). Where to begin?

I dislike having to make a bigger mess to clean up a mess. All of these projects are that type. I have learned that you shouldn't pull out more than you can put back in an hour. I just don't think that any of these are projects that can be handled that way. So-I have to figure out if my phsyqe can handle some days of total chaos!!

Wish me luck! I am gonna need it!

*hopefully soon I will put up the few iPhone pictures we took on our California trip. Lousy pictures but great memories!!!

Wild Turkeys!!!

There is a flock of wild turkeys hanging around our little town. They have been here for a week or so. I tried to count them when they were in my neighbors yard. I counted at least twenty! This morning they were in my back yard. There were more than pictured. Miss Hollie dog got out and scared them away- they can fly, just not for very far. They went across the canal.

Everyday stuff!

January chaos!

This is Justin's bedroom-at least it was! We did get it picked up. It is representative of what my house feels like to me. It isn't actually that bad in every room, but many more than I can deal with.

I also feel this chaos in my soul! It must be the time of year. I feel like I need to empty every single corner, closet and drawer in my entire house. I need to get rid of excess and organize the keepers. The hard part for me is actually sticking with it and finishing. My word of the year last year was supposed to be Focus. I still need that word on a daily basis. I get so distracted by having too many things that need done. I wander around doing little bits of lots of projects, never actually finishing anything. I told my sweet Mr. this morning that while I take care of one pile three more are created! I am always behind!

Oh, well! I guess that is my life right now. With Ashley at school I have 1/2 the laundry, so I guess that the messes will change as my family changes. If only I were much more disciplined to make my children be more disciplined!!

Finally-Winter

Winter finally arrived!

After a snowless Christmas and New Year we were beginning to wonder if it was a year of no snow. Well, Saturday we got blasted.

I still count myself lucky that this is out my back window!!