Memorial Day Vacation-Lake Powell

                                                     (Mitch clearing the wake)
 We went to Lake Powell for Memorial Day Weekend.  We have never taken our family there so it was a totally new experience.  It was much further than Dave actually realized, however, the view when we got there made the drive worth it!

                                                         (Ashley making it look easy)
We parked our motorhome right on the beach.  The sand was beautiful!  That is until the wind started to blow!  Unfortunatley, it blew hard!  We weren't able to really go on the water for the first three days.  That was not fun!  We also had to stay inside the motorhome because being outside was like having  your body sandblasted!

                                                      (Emily-once she gets up she is good to go!)
We went for a short boat ride and came back to both tents FULL of sand!  We literally had to use the dustpan to scoop the sand out of the tents!  The wind was so strong that it actually snapped one of the poles.

                                                            Rainbow Bridge
On our last day we were finally able to get out on the water.  We headed to Rainbow Bridge.  It is the largest natural arch in the world.  It really was breath taking.  We were so glad that we made it there!  A ranger told us that Saturday(when we were originally going to go) was one of the worst days on the water ever!  One of the fuel docks actually broke lose!  Glad that we didn't go then!

 We took our family and two extras!  Mitch's buddy Jake and Ashley's roomie Camilla.  We certainly had a motorhome full!  They played card games for hours!

                                                           Justin and his goose!
For some unknown reason, Mitch's buddy Andrew gave Justin a goose decoy.  Well, that goose came camping with us!  Sadly, some of the other children on the beach were not very nice.  They wanted to make it so that you couldn't cross certain places on the beach.  Justin was feeling pretty bad, then the big boys helped him dig an awesome hole.  THEN they had the best idea yet!!!  Put the goose out!  Noone else will have a goose!!!  

We had people stopping and staring, dogs barking and parents laughing!!!  Silly goose!

All in all we had a great time.  There were a few personality conflicts.  That seems to happen when there is one really middle child, life just doesn't go smoothly sometimes.  Besides that and the breakdown getting there we really did have fun.  We want to go again-without the wind!!!

My Sweet boy

This little guy is still little enough to sit on my lap and cuddle!

Ragnar is coming!

I am getting nervous!  It has been almost a year in the planning and it is happening next weekend! 
Ragnar Wasatch Back relay race! 

Ashley and I are both running with a team mostly from our neighborhood!  If you are not familiar with what a Ragnar relay race is I will explain.

It is a 200 mile relay across the back side of the Wasatch Mountains.  The team consists of twelve runners who each run three legs, ranging in distance from about 3 miles to about 10 miles.   The team is divided into two vans.  One van runs their six legs and then the next van runs their six legs while the first van rests(in theory!) and gets ready for their next leg, etc, until everyone has run three time.  The entire process is about thirty hours.

The race has been going through our little town for years, maybe 12, and this year we are part of it. 
I am nervous because I struggle with running.  The team captain and neighbor, Jeff, gave me the easiest leg so that I wasn't overwhelmed.  My longest distance is 4.3 miles.   I am grateful for this!  Perhaps if we run again I might feel more confident and get one of the longer distances!

I have been trying to run more often but it is hard.  I love going to my Crossfit classes so I am always trying to figure out which to do.  Run or Crossfit!  I have gotten to where my four mile run is ok. I feel confident in it.  I am slow, slow, slow!  That has not changed since the eighty year old man beat me!  However, I am trying to not let my speed affect my desire.  I just want to be able to say that I did it!

I still have the desire to run a half marathon.  I am not sure why, except to say that I can do something hard.   Ashley just signed herself up for one in August!  I should just do it with her, except that she is much faster than I am!

This next week will involve more running, just in preparation!  I hope that we all survive and enjoy it along the way!!

Listen and obey and Tender Mercy's

     In our church we have often been reminded to pay attention to the "tender mercies" of the Lord.  I try but lately have been more absorbed in my perceived problems than looking towards my blessings!
    Recently we decided to take a trip to Lake Powell, Utah.  We have never taken our family there.  It is a long distance, almost four hundred miles.  We left in the late afternoon so we knew it would be very late before we arrived. 
     We left our home after packing all but the kitchen sink.  My sweet husband drives and drives.  The kids sleep and play games.  I read and feed people.
     Six or seven hours into our trip-about sixty miles from Lake Powell(almost midnight), we start out of Kanab, Utah.  A horrible rattle and slapping noise startled us and the engine immediately began to lose power. Directly in front of us on the side of the road was a flat, hard surface to pull off the road onto.  We were in a thirty foot motor home pulling a twenty four foot boat! 
     I look at my husband and he starts looking in the engine compartment.  He feels my gaze.  A large belt has snapped, a new belt that he put on two weeks previous.   I ask him if he has a spare.  He says"yes, I hope it fits".  The engine is too hot to work on so we decide to just go to sleep and work on it in the morning.
     First crack of daylight Dave and Mitch put on the belt and we are on our way.  It fit and we had no other problems.
     After our camping trip we headed home.  As we were nearing where we pulled off, I started looking for another spot a huge vehicle like ours could have safely pulled off of the road.  There wasn't one. Both sides of the road for a mile or two in both directions was a slopped shoulder with very soft dirt.  At the exact moment the belt snapped a perfectly flat, hard,and long enough space for our huge vehicle, was right there!  A tender mercy indeed!
     While we were discussing the blessing of the pull out, Dave shared  another part of this story.   Two years ago he bought a belt that wasn't the right size.  He traded it for a belt that the guy had had hanging on his wall forever.  Two weeks before our trip Dave decided to put a new belt on.  He purchased a new belt because the other belt was so old. It was a new belt from a dealer.  He and Mitch installed it and he didn't think more about it.
     As we were getting ready to leave our house for our trip, he walked past that old belt sitting on a shelf.  As he walked past it he had the thought, "I ought to throw that belt in."  He grabbed it and didn't think more of it.  Luckily, Dave almost always has his tools with him, just in case.
     Dave throws the old(not used just aged) belt in and then on our trip the new belt breaks.  We are able to safely pull off the road, spend the night and then fix the engine without too much hassle.
  
     Listening and then obeying the promptings of the Lord is something we are working on.  I am so grateful that my husband listened and then obeyed the prompting he received to put that belt in. I am also grateful for the tender mercy of a perfect place to pull over safely when the belt broke.  The Lord is mindful of us, we just need to recognize His hand in our lives.

    

Noticing the little blessings

     I don't mean to be but sometimes I am a wallower or a pessimist.  I don't believe I have always been or that most people that know me would think I am a horribly depressed person.  However, I often feel it.
     The last two years have been really hard in some parts of my life.  Situations that can't be discussed but are ever present and often all encompassing.
     I read a blog post yesterday from Seven Cherubs, a mother of seven from Australia.  She did a project during the month of May that consisted of writing one sentence a day about how something brought her happiness.  I thought that it was a wonderful idea!
     So, I'm going to make a little list of things that have brought me joy and happiness recently. I think that I am going to start now with the month of June and try and write something every single day!

*My beautiful flowers are blooming!

*Mitch sprayed off my dirty front porch!

*Summer air has arrived, and with it eating and sitting on the porch.

*We got to Lake Powell safely-due to Dave listening to the still small voice and then obeying the prompting.

*Justin still likes to cuddle and is still so young and sweet.

*I got to visit the Ocean recently, and better yet with my sweetie!

*The sounds of summer:children playing, crickets, even the distant lawn mower!

*Little boys playing all kinds of games.  Really playing and pretending!

    I hope that I can actually be more aware of the joy in my life.  It is there surrounded by the mounds of laundry and attitudes that often overtake everything else.  Looking for the joy, the Tender Mercy's , being present when the happiness happens, that is what I want!

San Diego! Just Rose and Dave!!

Dave and I went on a trip to San Diego at the end of April!  It was the first trip away for quite a few years.  We had a ton of fun!  Our friends, the Barazza's and the Parry's met us there for a few days. 

We stayed directly across the street from the historic Hotel  Del Coronado!  The island of Coronado is amazing!  It has the most beautiful, pristine beach.   We also went to our favorite beach haunt-Pacific Beach and had breakfast on the beach at Kono's(no picture this time). Barrazza's lived in San Diego so they drove us around and took us to some of their favorite restaurant's and sites.  It was fun having a different perspective.  They also drove us all around the North Island Navy base.  Lou Barrazza is a Navy Colonel. 

 We stopped for ice cream at Baker, California-the traffic was horrible.  We saw the world's tallest thermometer.

 This statue is out at Point Loma.  The furthest southern point of the US.

 We stopped at the beach after going to the San Diego Temple.  I need to live by a beach!

 We went on a short bike ride along the boardwalk, unfortunately Dave won't be biking with his neck problems again anytime soon!

                                              The View out our condo window.

 The Hotel Del Coronado from the beach-just named the Most Beautiful Beach for 2012!

 The view from the pier at Pacific Beach after eating breakfast at Kono's.

 Denny Barrazza, Cricket and Lyle Parry and Dave.

 All the gals had so much fun! We found some great seashells!  Rose, Denny B, and Cricket P.

 At the Mormon Battalion Museum they dressed Dave up like the men would have that march in the Battalion.

If you look closely on the right side of the picture in the distance you can see the San Diego LDS Temple.  It is an amazingly beautiful building.  Dave and I went and did a session while we were there.

 We all went in to Old Town and went to the Mormon Battalion Museum. 

I love, love, love the Ocean.  I would enjoy being able to visit it often.  It heals my soul.

Emily's Piano Recital

April 26, 2012

Emily is starting to really become a good pianist.  She has an amazing teacher-Amy Ward.  I am so proud of her for continuing.  She will be so grateful that she didn't stop.

Baseball-lots of baseball!

Mitch played on the Freshman baseball team this spring.  It was a lot of fun to watch him play.  He played first base and he played it well!  He has such long legs and a long reach that he just reaches and gets many a ball!   He is also a good throw and a great catch!  Most of their games were "double headers" so they were pretty long.  One game went on for 3 1/2 hours!  That was a long day!  He was on the field from 9:30 am until 5:30 pm! 

We loved watching Mitch play.  We ate a lot of Subway sandwiches, we decided we didn't want another for quite awhile!!!

Mother's Day 2012

Mother's Day 2012

My children and husband were very sweet.  I got new running shoes from my sweet Dave(I had to pick them out, of course).   Ashley brought home beautiful flowers and then Dave brought home even more!
Two bouquets of flowers!  I am a lucky girl!

Justin was so thrilled to give my his painting.  It is a print of his precious feet!  "From the top of my heart, to the tips of my toes-I love you."

Emily wrote me a very sweet note.

I am a blessed woman.  There are days that I wonder why I had children, why I was chosen to be their mother.  Those are hard days.   I am glad that I don't have those days every day, that I get to look at the faces of these people in my life and know that I am very blessed.

Dancing Competitions

Spring brings dance competitions!

Emily is doing so well! She worked so hard this years, learning all of the solo dances and really practicing!

She had a competition at Thanksgiving Point, and in Pocatello, Idaho.  Their team did amazing.  Always pulling first place!

May 20th they danced at Nationals at Lagoon and she did so great!  She was only going to do four of the five solos because she didn't know the last one very well.  We convinced her to just do it.  The worst thing that could happen was she would get a third!  She did it and got a second!!!

She got three firsts and two seconds on her solos.  Her team got first and then an All Around High Gold-which means that they got all the points possible!  That is the very highest score possible!!!

Catch up!

Once again I seem to be very behind on the happenings in our lives!  I am trying to keep this blog as our "scrapbook" of sorts-since I haven't don't much formal scrapbooking for twelve years.

So, the next few posts are going to be catch up -not in chronological order!



Emily had a birthday-we took pictures!!
April 19, 2012

We had a cute cake with Justin and Mitch and his friends Lexus, Payge and Andrew.

Em had a fun "girls spa day" birthday party.  It started out slow with only two people coming but finally a few hours later her other friends finally made it!  They did makeup, fingernails, hair and lots and lots of giggling!

Summer is finally here!

School is officially over for another year! We have gone on a vacation(lake powell), eaten burgers and chips, slept in, gone to the park, played baseball, started a cleanup project(yucky garage), gone to the library and now ---- enjoying a movie--OUTSIDE!

Now that's what summer is for!!!!

Happy 19th Birthday!

May 22!
Ashley turned 19!! How did this happen?

Shining

Today in my reading I came across this thought.  I understood it.  It resonates with my soul. 


{Streams in the Desert devotionals compiled by Mrs. Chas E. Cowman, 1950} this spoke straight to my heart and I just feel like maybe by sharing it here it could speak to someone else too.
* * * * *
Shining is always costly. Light comes only at the cost of that which produces it. An unlit candle does no shining. Burning must come before shining. We cannot be of great use to others without cost to ourselves. Burning suggests suffering. We shrink from pain.
We are apt to feel that we are doing the greatest good in the world when we are strong, and able for active duty, and when the heart and hands are full of kindly service.
When we are called aside and can only suffer; when we are sick; when we are consumed with pain; when all our activities have been dropped, we feel that we are no longer of use, that we are not doing anything.
But if we are patient and submissive, it is almost certain that we are a greater blessing to the world in our time of suffering and pain than we were in the days when we thought we were doing the most of our work. We are burning now, and shining because we are burning.

Happy 12th Birthday!

Happy Birthday! 

I can hardly believe twelve years have passed!!!

I love you,

Mom

April? How did that happen?

I need to figure out how to write more. I have plenty that seems to happen in my life!  Why don't I blog it?  Who knows?

Happenings around here:
*Spring Break-Lake Mead, Nevada
*Easter-in Nevada
*Baseball
*Stake Conference
*Driving to St. George to repair car
*Emily's birthday

I also just realized that I have never actually posted any pictures of our California trip--back during Christmas!  I guess I need to get on with that!

March recap

March has gone quickly for me.  I asked Mr. Carrigan if it had for him and he said, emphatically "NO-I need a vacation!"   We better get one of those quickly.

We have been doing normal everyday things around here:

*Ashley was here for her Spring break. She spent a minute or two with us!
*Baseball practice and games for Mitch.  He is playing first base.
*Piano practice and lessons for Emily.  She is playing in the school talent show Friday.
*Lego building and then some more Lego building for Justin!
*Work, Church calling and neck therapy for Dave--he really does need a vacation!
*Laundry, Crossfit, groceries, dinner, taxi driving and trying to figure out which pile to dig into first for me!

We had an eventful St. Patric'ks Day!  The little naughty leprechaun came to our house for the very first time!  Justin was so very excited!  He spent an hour building a trap so he could try and catch him.  He woke up to stickers on his face, gold coins and treats! 
(he had everything gone before I woke up with a camera!)

While Ashley was here for her Spring Break she went to church with us.  Dave got home early from all his meetings so he came over to Sacrament meeting.  It was nice to have my entire family around me for church!   I know that there are new people that have moved in that don't know about Dave's calling in the YSA stake and think that I am a single Mom!

I am always moving-even if my house doesn't show it!!!  Life is busy but life is mostly good.

An Amazing Woman

My friend Sherie Wright passed away Saturday after a short but difficult battle with cancer.  Sherie was one of those people that had amazing oozing out of every fiber of her being.  She was not an amazing crafter or scrapbooker, she was a normal housekeeper.  Where Sherie's talents were was in her ability to love.

If you knew Sherie you knew that she cared about you.  She volunteered for years at the high school helping the seniors with applications for college.  She was there almost as much as a teacher.  I am sure that many students actually thought that she was a counselor.  My own daughter Ashley was helped greatly.

Sherie also had the strongest testimony of our Savior.  When she walked into a room that room was brightened by the Spirit that Sherie was able to bring with her.  She loved the Savior and was so willing to share that love with others. 

Sherie will be missed.  She was far too young to go.  I worry about her sweet husband Kelley and about her seventh son Tim who is serving a mission in Spain.  They will be in our prayers for a very long time.

Fifteen years ago I had a three month old baby.  My sister in law Christine had a six week old baby.  Christine had emergency tonsillitis surgery on Christmas Eve.  Baby Whitney had never had a bottle, so I nursed both babies for four days.  It was a bit rough.  Dave and I just took turns holding which ever baby I wasn't nursing.  Ashley(3) and Jess(5) basically just took care of themselves.  I am not sure we ever really fixed them food!  We survived Christmas day and then the next few days. 

Sherie was Christine's visiting teacher.  When Sherie heard Christine was sick she called to see how she could help her.  Christine wasn't going anywhere for a few days and no one was in her home.  At this point Sherie realized that it was me who could use some help.  She had her daughter Sara come over with strict instructions to "just do what needs done."   She cleaned up a terribly messy kitchen, vacuumed and held babies so I could shower.   I have never forgotten this sweet gesture from Sherie.  It was a simple thing but it meant a lot to me.  Those babies are both almost sixteen now!!

Death is one of the great struggles of this life.  Those left behind are so desperately saddened by the loss. 

Sherie affected all those she came into contact with for good.  She is a role model for all of us to emulate.

Happy Birthday-Dad!

Today would have been my Dad's 71st birthday.  Not a day goes by that I don't miss him.  Not a day goes by that I don't wonder what he would think of my life and choices.

I hope he is proud of me for trying to be a decent Mom.  Proud of me for finishing college.  Proud of me for staying married-for choosing a really great man. Proud of me for being a survivor, not a victim.

I am grateful for the 19 years I got to have him in my life.  I am glad that I got to go fishing, rock-hunting, horseback riding(even if they always ran away with me!) and all the many other ordinary things that made up our lives.  I am better because he was part of my life.

Sunday Morning

    We have a late starting church service this year.  It doesn't begin until 1:00-lasting until 4:00.  I have often said I prefer early church.  I get to have a nap!  When church is over at 4:00 there is no nap!  However, I am starting to really enjoy the calm, nothingness of our Sunday mornings.  Sweet SugarDaddy has to leave super early for his church responsibilities with the Young Single Adults.  He is gone by 6:30am.

     The calm of Sunday morning is lovely.  I actually sleep in, which for me is so amazing.  My kids sleep till they don't want to sleep anymore.  That actually means that the little man Justin is the first one up.  I hear him.  He goes in the living room and pulls out his legos and starts to build.  He is such a good little builder.  He occasionally turns on a cartoon.  I get up awhile after him and start to putter around in my robe.  I unload the dishwasher and generally reload it!(those dishes are always there!) I pick a few things up, move a few things around, put a roast in the crock pot for supper. 

  At some point Miss Emily appears. Even later Mitch arises.  He is often showered and ready to go help with his church responsibilities.  No fuss, no yelling, just doing what is expected. Such a blessing.

    I thought that I would really dislike having later church time.  I am beginning to really love it.  There are elements that I miss.  Sunday afternoon naps and a long afternoon to visit with friends or family. 

    For now I am just going to enjoy the quiet and calm.

Passing of Time

(Warning-Mom-you will cry when you read this. Get a tissue or skip it)

   Back in February we had a dance recital for Miss Emily. It was on Saturday. We did this and that before we needed to have her to Layton. We watched the entire recital(I actually fell asleep during some of it!

   We went home and then just did normal everyday Saturday things. Laundry, dishes, tinkering. It was a pretty average, uneventful Saturday.

   Sunday morning I startled awake realizing that the date for this Sunday morning was February 12th. That means that the day before was February 11th.

   Twenty four years ago on February 11th my Dad tragically took his own life. Life for our family has been permanently altered and sent on a different path than it was on before.

   I remember thinking that I would never ever have a year that I wouldn't think about my Dad's death on the day he died. I would always remember and always call my Mom.

   On this February 11th day, twenty four years later I forgot.

   At first realization I was shocked and saddened that I had forgotten. Then a feeling came over me that I am grateful for. I had the strongest feeling that I was doing what I was supposed to be doing. Living my life. Watching my daughter dance. Making lunch, dinner and doing dishes. I had a very, very ordinary day.

   I don't think that a day has ever passed that I don't think of my Dad. I have pictures of him in my house. I see things while driving that remind me of him. I say things that I learned from him. However, these things are almost always about his LIFE not his death.

   I think that my Dad would be glad that I had this day. That I have been able to have a life, a good life. I am not healed from his death, but the scab has healed nicely. It rarely bleeds anymore. Even more rarely is the scab ripped off and left raw and gapping. I am grateful for this, it is hard to LIVE when one is raw and bleeding all the time.

   I decided that perhaps the lesson that I learned from February 11, 2012 is that I want to remember my Dad for his life not his tragic death. I want to celebrate all the wonderful, ordinary days that I got to spend with my Dad.

   Those are the blessings.

Pantry update!

The pantry is coming along! Crazy that it is taking me weeks to finish it!

I emptied out one side of the floor and three corners-pulling out of those spots anything that is not supposed to live in the pantry. Once again by pulling out that few of spaces, my large dining table was completely covered!

What did I find? Leftover Christmas cards for the last two years, sewing fabric supplies from two Christmases ago. A pair of Levi's, a pair of men's slacks, enough craft supplies - ribbon, glue, etc. to fill a basket and three large bags of flour!

The flour is a funny story. Before Christmas, sweet hubby wanted to make G. Grandma's shortbread. I told him we didn't have any flour. I went to the store and bought flour. He went to make the shortbread and we discovered we had flour but no sugar. We borrowed sugar. After Christmas I went to the store. I remembered that we needed FLOUR and bought some. I came home to realize again that it was sugar I needed! So I have two huge bags of flour !!! I did finally get sugar! I do not however need 50 pounds of flour in my pantry! I have a food storage room!

I stopped pulling things out when the table was full! I am happy to report that I have now put away, thrown away or given away everything from the table!!

All this mess and I haven't even touched the food part of the pantry!!!

St. George weekend

Our high school girls and boys basketball teams both made it to the state tournament this year. The games happened to be in St. George! We decided to make a weekend of it and go visit our favorite college freshman!

Unfortunately both teams lost their first games - so they were no longer in championship running. We drove the five hours - with permit carrying Mitch driving the entire way!

We spent the weekend going to games, swimming at the hotel, eating and playing some. We were glad to spend some time with Ashley. We also spent Saturday evening with our friends the Ewings. We went shooting by their house. Ash and I both actually shot the shotguns. Scared me to death! Ash actually hit a few targets!

I didn't think to take many pictures. I used to take a thousand. Now- not so much!!!

We had fun. We actually went to church in Hurricane- they actually beat Morgan in the first game and then won the championship!

Here I Go!! Pantry Rescue!!

It is that time again!

The time when I start to feel like my pantry is vomiting all over me! I am so blessed-I have a beautiful, large walk in pantry. Because it is so large it is also a multitasking workspace. It is part food pantry, part art/homework station, part appliance storage and part family history storage space. All that means is that this large space is used for much much more than just normal food pantry items! It is a catch all for the entire family.

For ten years I have been trying to figure out how to utilize the space more efficiently. I have tried numerous different methods trying to keep the space from becoming a massive wreck.

The most successful thing to date has been the two three drawer units that house pencils, note card, scissors etc. There is a place fore the scissors and tape. I may be the only person that knows how to actually put them in the appropriate drawer but my family knows that scissors are generally in that drawer.

The rest of the huge space is a work in progress! A few years ago I added baskets with labels for all the canned and boxed foods. It has been fairly successful-until it isn't! That is where it is right now. The labels mean nothing!!

A year or so(maybe two) I decided that I needed a space for each child's papers. Things that we want to save and things we don't want to lose. I added three, three drawer units. I put names for each family member on a drawer. Those have been successful-except they are now full so they must be emptied. Those things that need to be saved need to be filed in their own files(which I do not have but am getting soon).




One huge problem that I haven't solved yet is the art/school supplies. The shelves are not wide enough for two drawer units-so I have had two open baskets. The problem with baskets is that they are open so they are asking for things to be shoved into them. No matter that the label says construction paper-if there is a space anything can be shoved in.

I am often overwhelmed by the enormity of a big project so I don't even begin. This is one of those projects. I decided that I would only tackle the art/school supplies and the cookbook collection. I emptied four shelves-FOUR and filled my dining room table!

I went through every single basket. I ended up throwing away two full kitchen garbage bags! That is a lot of extra garbage that has been shoved in open baskets! I had two drawer units left over from the last pantry overhaul. I decided that I would use them, even if they don't fit perfectly. Drawers work so-so much better for my family--for ME! If I have to actually open a drawer I will most likely only open it if it is the correct location. So--hopefully, these two drawers will alleviate a bit more "drop ins!"

Four Shelves down! Only FIFTEEN to go!!!(then the floor!!)

In the dust

I cleaned bathrooms the other day. My children have been on bathroom duty lately. Because of this, it was time for a little more than "a lick and a promise!" I started in our half bath. It is the most used toilet in the house. It is directly off the kitchen and garage. It was disgusting. I found the pumice stone and started removing the mineral deposits. I cringed through the entire process of that bathroom.

I moved on to the middle bathroom. It is used mostly by one little seven year old boy. He often uses it without turning on the light. I did the normal dialogue in my head. "I need a maid, toilet lids should last longer. Toilet lids should self clean. Does anyone ever know that I actually clean behind the toilet? Does anyone ever know that I clean the baseboards behind the toilet? No one ever notices a bathroom is clean, they only notice if it is dirty." I finished that toilet and moved on to my own bathroom.

My bathroom is a lovely bathroom with a garden tub inset in a bay window. (Why are they called a garden tub? Anyone ever seen one in a garden?) It has a lovely large mirror and walk in shower. It also seems to be a magnet for dust, lint and box elder bugs. I started the ritual on the toilet. This toilet isn't nearly as bad as the others, however, the same dialogue began. "Toilets should just come with a maid. We sent man to the moon, we should be able to make a toilet lid that the paint stays on with cleaning. I should swish and swipe this toilet every day, that isn't so hard. Why is there so much lint in this bathroom, more than any other in the house?" I continued cleaning the rest of the bathroom, moving to the counter and then to the tub. There are always a few tub toys hanging out on the edge, along with a spoon and a few pencils. I don't know why we have spoons in the tub.

As I am picking up the various toys and parts around the tub, I realize that the edge has once again become a bug graveyard. I go to get the vacuum. The dialogue begins again, "does anyone else actually vacuum out their tub? This is disgusting." I finish vacuuming the tub, begin wiping and look up at the three windows of wood blinds. They are covered in box elder bug leavings. I figure I might as well clean them while I am at it.

The process of cleaning these blinds is a bit labor intensive. They need to be dusted terribly. I go and get one of those swiffer things. Each individual slat has to be dusted, and they are divided in three. I start the process, dust the entire blind, then wipe down every single slat.

The dialogue that always seems to run in my head begins yet again. "These blinds are disgusting, I hate box elder bugs. What did Justin do, splash bubbles to the ceiling? How long has it been since these were cleaned? No one ever knows that I have spent two hours cleaning these blinds." The dialogue doesn't stop. I move to the next center blind, the largest of the three. "These blinds are starting to really get worn. I wonder if I should see if individual slats could be replaced. This slat is pealing a bit. They are ten years old." I continue the mental debate while I finish dusting, and wiping every single slat while standing precariously on the edge of the tub.

While standing on the edge of the tub, wedged in between the cupboard and the wall, I begin the third and final blind in the bathroom. The mental barrage of negativity begins again. I start to dust. As I am dusting a sudden thought enters my mind---and my heart---

"Sherie can't stand on her tub and dust her blinds."

My friend Sherie is battling cancer. It is very, very bad. She has lost much of her balance and most of her hair.

In that instant, my cleaning changed. I had a powerful epiphany that this mess that I was cleaning was actually full of blessings. I was physically able to stand precariously on the side of the tub while dusting and wiping those blinds. Those blinds, that moments before had looked old and worn out, were actually such a blessing. I have blinds and they have held up well for ten years. They are also on windows in a lovely, large bathroom that has running water, a toilet that flushes and a shower.

My heart was changed in that instant. I had spent almost two hours complaining in my mind that no one notices the clean bathrooms, only the dirty ones. In that instant I realized that I was blessed because I COULD CLEAN those bathrooms. I was blessed because I have those bathrooms. I was blessed to have those windows, blinds and tub. I am blessed because I have children that leave behind spoons that show they have played.

As I finished cleaning up that last blind and wiping down the tub I felt a huge deal of gratitude. I often feel quite alone in this motherhood/maid role that I play. I often feel that what I do doesn't really matter to anyone, no one actually knows that I do it.

In that instant, standing on my tub, I knew that "HE KNOWS I DO IT." I matter to Him.

Sweet angel boy

Justin is our bonus baby. We struggled getting our babies here. After using medication for our first two, I said never again. We were delighted when we were surprised with Emily. Surprised is not a big enough word for our reaction when we found out we were expecting Justin!

There are almost five years between Justin and Emily. That is a long time in kid years. Because of this large gap all the children really have enjoyed having a little person around. They just seem to get how sweet little people are.

This little boy is home sick today. 101.3 fever. Poor monkey!

I am so grateful that he is in our home and is still little. He is still so open and caring. Every morning I go into his room to wake him and with his eyes still closed he reaches up and wraps his arms around my neck. He just holds me there for awhile. It is in moments like that that I have glimpses of Heaven. A small feeling of how our Heavenly Father loves us. He reaches to comfort us, we just need to be still enough to feel his arms around us.

I am often frustrated by the large spacing of my children. They are all so far apart that none of them are ever in the same developmental stage. They all have a hard time relating to each other, forgetting that they could have ever acted "that" way. However, I am so glad that our family was blessed with a second bonus baby. It is such a blessing to have a little one in the house that helps us all to be a little closer to heaven. We need the reminder.

DO IT!

JUST DO IT! That slogan has become synonymous with Nike brand. That and their little swoosh sign. I just think it is about the best slogan out there. I remember when I was a girl Spencer W. Kimball was the President/Prophet of our church(LDS). He had a little plaque on his desk --it said simply--DO IT! I have loved that slogan for most of my life.

Why then do I procrastinate? What makes it so difficult to just get moving and Do It? I have lots of reasons why I haven't ran a half marathon. I have lots of reasons why I haven't cleaned out my pantry. Truth be told, however, they are all just excuses. I just don't do them. I find other things to do to use up my time. Some of them good, valid things that need done. Things like picking kids up from one place or taking them to another place. However, the reality is that I have not been ill. I am not working outside the home for 80 hours a week. I am not traveling around the country. Those are real, valid reason to not be on top of things. Me? I just didn't DO IT?

Today is February 1st. I actually used to really hate February. It happened 24 years ago when my Dad died in February. It just sucked the life out of the month. Something changed a couple of years ago. I had one of those Oprah Ah Ha! moments. I realized that I was allowing the tragedy of my Dad's death to hold me hostage the month of February. I made a conscious decision to never do it again. I decorated like crazy for Valentine's Day that year. I found darling Valentine's to share. I sent them to my friends, my old lonely Uncle, my Mom. I just sent them to people I love!

Guess what? That February was no longer a terrible, dark dreary month! Yes, I was very aware that February 11th was the 22 anniversary of my Dad's death. That will never change. What I did do was change how I reacted to it.

I haven't put any decor up yet. I have been using excuses.

Well, February is here. There are no more excuses. This is a month to be celebrated and enjoyed. I am going to try and remember President Kimball's example and DO IT! What ever that IT is!