Spring Break-Lake Mead

Spring Break at Lake Mead Nevada! One of our favorite places to go!

The water was COLD but it didn't slow the kids down-with the help of wetsuits. E tried to wake board-she'll be up going great next time. M and A loved the smooth water. Little man loved the sand and digging for buried treasure-or a sunken boat!

Camping/boating is one of my favorite things to do. There are no distractions. My children get along so much better here than almost anywhere else. There was a moment when the three were on the tube that I was so grateful for. They were having fun-together. That is what it is all for.

Taking a breather---check back Sunday!

Light

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light not our darkness that frightens us.

We ask ourselves “who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?”
Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Marianne Williamson

Friday night movie

Last night Mr. Sweetness decided that we should take the two little ones to the movie-the bigger kids were both gone. They chose Monsters vs. Aliens.

Mr. Sweetness and the kids LOVED IT! It wasn't one of my favorite animated movies. The animation was incredible, however. It is just amazing how real things look now with computer animation--down to the individual hairs and freckles.

I am going to try and update my picture blog today-when I get behind it is so hard to stay motivated.

Fun Family Shots

Saturday March 28 --Afternoon boating at Willard--cold but lots of fun!

Random Bits of Nothingness!

*My computer is alive! However, we are going to be adding a bigger hard drive so we will be without it again. So, my posts will be sparse--with no pictures.

*It is still winter here. It is April-Spring must come soon!

*I bought lovely daffodils for my table. My wonderful tulips finally bit the dust.

*I am still struggling with energy, the cold and dark weather just doesn't help me want to go out and go running! I am trying to enlist a friend to start going to the gym in the mornings with me. Perhaps it will be the motivation I need.

*I have been studying my photography books. The more I study the less I know.

*I am avoiding laundry. I have mounds.

*My children have been doing more chores--happy Momma-not so happy kids!

*I went to a scripture study class today and came home depressed. I don't think that is the intention of the class. I felt unlearned and like a failure as a mother. I took the little man to McDonald's after to try and relieve a little gloom.

*I bought more frozen fruit and raw spinach so I can have my green smoothies again.

*My best friend leaves tomorrow for a trip to Germany---without me! I will miss her, every single day.

Winter fun--kindof!

It is still winter around here. This did not stop us today! We all piled in the suburban and headed to the lake. Yes, we are crazy! It was freezing but it was so much fun to play in the new boat. We are going to have a ball. The water was barely not frozen so none of us actually got in the water. Miss E was going to until she put her toes in--we didn't think that hypothermia was such a great idea.

Spring needs to reappear!

Computer Woes!

Our computer is on the fritz so I am sitting here in bed using my hubby's work computer. I have never used a laptop--I am getting used to it! I may have to get one! I am struggling with the mouse thing--a little strange but I could get used to it!

We went to a wedding today-it was lovely! Temple weddings are always so wonderful, I am glad that we have had the opportunity to attend so many. We are up to about 40 so far.

It is still COLD here. We have frozen snow on the ground and it was 0 degrees this morning. I am hoping that it warms up because I need some warm sunshine!

I am looking into camera lenses. The more that I learn about photography the more I realize that I know very little! I just want to be able to know what I want to do and how to do it and have it turn out fabulous. Ok, I guess that just about sums up my life!

I will probably be scarce for awhile, I hope that the computer dr can save our computer.

Yuck!

Yuck!

It is winter again. We have had snow, lots of snow, for the last two days.

Yuck, yuck and more yuck!!!

Little Miracles!

Last night MissA came upstairs and said "I don't know what is wrong with me." I said, "what do you mean?" She said "I don't know what's wrong with me, I just made my bed, JUST BECAUSE! Something is seriously wrong with me." Then she went and got the vacuum and actually vacuumed her floor--without being asked or told!

There are miracles!

she later got the camera, took a picture and told me I should blog about her clean room because all I have been blogging about is my hibernation!

Fresh

I have always loved fresh flowers. I love it in movies when people walk down a city street and buy a bouquet of flowers and bring them home for the table. I have always lived in a desert climate. Flowers are rarely sold on street corners. So, rarely have I had fresh cut flowers in any season except summer when hopefully, there are some to be cut from my own flower beds.

I still LOVE flowers.

On Friday, the first day of spring we made a trip to town. We went to Walmart. I really don't like shopping, I really don't like shopping at Walmart. It is just too big and too impersonal. It overwhelms me and then makes me feel depressed!

Friday was different! As we walked in I saw them. Beautiful tulips! I love tulips! They are up there at the top of my favorite flower list. We looked at them, I picked them up, put them back and then decided that I was going to buy them. JUST BECAUSE!

I am so happy! I have beautiful fresh flowers on my table!

Monday

Mondays-love/hate!

I made it to the gym! My brain wasn't really into it but I did it! I am having to coddle myself like you do a little baby. "You can do it, come on, your almost there. Yeah! You made it." I hope that soon, very soon I will not have to coddle, that I will be ready to burst out.

Until then, laundry!

One small step!

I DID IT! I ran today! I actually ran one full mile without stopping! That sounds so pathetic but for me it is a brave step! I haven't ran since Thanksgiving so I was glad that I made it that far before I had to walk a bit. I managed two miles and figured that was a good place to start.

I have also gotten Mr. Sweetness to try a green smoothie and MissA actually asked me to make her one! I added a frozen banana and I liked that addition! I hope that in three weeks I can say that I can tell a difference in my life!!

Being Brave

I have health issues. The biggest health issue for me is that I am genetically predisposed to have a fat derriere. Because of this disposition if I choose to relax on any aspect of healthy living it shows---literally -- on my back side!

I have had a stupid foot issue-plantar fasciitis--for almost 1 1/2 years. Because of this I have not been exercising with the vigor that I had the 1 1/2 years before that. I also struggle with a mild case of Seasonal Affective Disorder every winter so I have been hibernating, not exercising,eating less than stellar and just being quite slow.

The combination of all these factors is not a pretty sight.

I have been coming to grips with the fact that I am basically a big lazy whiner. I don't like to push myself. I have not mastered the whole 'mind over matter' thing. My mind is lazy and doesn't want to stretch. I like to think big. I learn about all types of things.I am an information junkie! I can rattle off information about different healthy lifestyles or exercises better than a personal trainer.

Problem is---I don't walk the walk!

What to do? What to do? How does one get to where they can get out of their own slow stuck spot and be brave? Does healthy living really take being brave? I think that it does. For many people struggling just like I do it is easier to just be---whatever that being is. If we are overweight because we are predisposed to it or because we eat too many ding dongs we are still familiar with being overweight or unhealthy. We don't like it but we can't quite figure out how to change it.

Change is hard. It is uncomfortable. It is unfamiliar. I have known people that are in horribly abusive relationships, they leave the person only to go immediately back to that person. Why do they do this? They do it because it is familiar. It is what they know. Change is hard.

Learning to change ones life is hard. Much more mental than I ever imagined. I know the talk. I know WHAT I need to do. How do I walk the walk?

I am going to start the walk with baby steps. Yesterday I started drinking green smoothies. I have known people that have drunk them for years. My friend Laura swears that they have helped her shed weight more easily than ever before in her life. She has lost all her baby weight and more.

I am stepping out of my comfort zone and trying one BRAVE baby step. I bought fresh spinach and frozen fruit and ground it up in a blender and drank it--two days in a row! MissA is on the wagon with me. I also managed to go to the gym today. I guess that is two baby brave steps.

I am also trying to convince my lazy brain that I can now start to run again. My foot is going to be strong. I can do it. I have this need to become a runner. Someone that actually loves to run. Someone that needs to run. I want that runners high.

I also want to have the thin backside of a runner!

What am I thinking

What have I become?

Over the past eight years my family has watched American Idol off and on. Some years we watch faithfully, others not so much. Since we learned how to tivo we can choose to watch whenever we want. Well, this year we are hooked-early!

Tonight MissA and I actually decided to vote. Ok, in all the times I have watched I only voted one time-for Miss Carrie Underwood--loved that girl from day one.

I tell you, what have I become? So embarassing, so very embarassing!

California Dreams!

Friday afternoon Mr. Sweetness and I flew the coop! We went to California so the he could officiate at a wedding. The couple were both members of his singles ward.

I LOVE THE OCEAN! I love tropical breezes, plants and ocean breezes. I believe that I need to live by the ocean.

In the middle

Monday

I have written before about my mixed feelings about Mondays. I have a love/hate relationship with them. On one hand they are wonderful because it is a new beginning, a fresh start. On the other hand it is often a true picture of just how far behind I am.

Today is a mix of both! I look around at the messes that are my life--laundry, dishes, dust, clutter, chaos. However, I also keep feeling like I am really starting to wake up again. Spring is in the air. Last night Mr. Sweetness and I walked around the block to a neighbors and I asked him if he could smell it. He said "smell what?" I said "spring, it is in the air." He just thought I was crazy and could probably smell the neighbors dog. I could smell it, it is coming and I am so happy!

I have been checking my flower beds as the snow is slowly slipping further and further away to a memory. I keep looking and hoping for more signs of spring. I heard birds the other day! That is a sure sign that Spring is on her way!

Spring has to be one of the most hopeful words in the English language. It carries with it so much potential and possibility. If you have ever lived in a northern climate and experienced the deep, dark, nothingness of winter you instinctively know of what I am talking about. After months and months of the cold darkness to feel the slightest bit of life in the earth feels like you are awakening from a long desperate coma. The strange thing for me is that I feel like I awaken like the earth does, slowly. The problem is that I want to jump out of bed and just attack the day, getting a million things done. I want to have all my laundry, dishes, dusting and chaos taken care of-(actually I just want those things to do themselves! There are much more exciting things that I want to do) so that I can just experience all the other parts of life. I want to paint rooms bright vivid colors, hang beautiful curtains, have fresh flowers on the table and have a beautiful garden blooming with flowers of all different shades of color. I want to have an art studio that I can actually get into and use, a place for everything and everything in its place. I want my home to look and smell lovely all the time, not just before company comes. All of these dreams---and then I realize that I am still on the slow side. Dishes, laundry and chaos! This is where I fall---in between the reality of my life and what I really envision my life.

How do I actually merge the two?(without hiring a maid?)

Updates

Updates on Picture My Year blog!

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!

I DID IT!

I have finished finding furniture for my children's bedrooms! Don't worry they haven't been sleeping on the floor-they have just had a mish-mash /hodgepodge of bedroom furniture. I have never been able to stomach spending the money that nice bedroom furniture costs-but I was not willing to purchase cheap furniture at a store like Walmart or Target. I just feel like it really isn't that great of quality. So--needless to say, no furniture.

Enter KSL online classified ads. I went on a quest to find furniture. Two weeks and endless clicks of the mouse I found furniture for three bedrooms! Four beds(headboard/foot boards), three dressers, , one queen mattress and box spring, one twin box spring, two end tables, and a few trips with the trailer and we are finished! We have moved two old dressers-one was chopped up and the other moved to a closet. I have given away a metal daybed, a box spring, a dressing table/desk, twin frame, a bean bag, six banana chairs and a partridge in a pear tree!

I would still like to find a few accessories, particularly in A's room. Her dresser didn't come with a mirror so I would like to find something funky and also a cool bookcase. However, the big main pieces are done and they look fabulous!!!

Another Day!

I did not manage to get my sorry carcass(ever notice the spelling of that word) up this morning to go to the gym--however, I made it tonight! I was the only student in the spin class! It felt great! I hope that I am starting to really awaken from the slumber!!!

Now I Understand

I remember being a new Mom. I would go places and people would tell me to enjoy her, it goes too fast, make sure that I enjoyed this time because it gets harder. I didn't understand them. I was often so tired. Maybe they had forgotten how hard toddlers can be? Feeding constantly, chasing, wiping, holding and then doing it all again and again.

I NOW understand--I am to the harder----I now tell new Mom's to hold those babies tight and breathe them in---sit and hold them for hours on end--because it changes and it changes fast.

Wow!

I am taking this moment to exclaim that there is a ray of HOPE that my dark winter hibernation season is beginning to end! I got out of my warm comfy bed at the dark and cold hour of 4:30 am so that I could be at the gym at 5:00 am!!!! I did it!!

It is now 8:00 am and I have had a HARD boot camp workout, made eggs twice, and cleaned a dirty kitchen! This along with actually seeing all of my children before they go to school. Mr. Sweetness has been on early school duty since about early December when the hibernation took over!

Let's hope that it is truly the beginning of brighter, more energetic days!!

Hope

Perhaps spring is actually on its way! MissE and the little man just had to go outside.

"Momma,come and push me high on the swing."

Everyone needs a little "Superman" in their lives, especially one in his p.j.'s and winter coat!

There is proof that a few things are beginning to wake up from their long winter slumber!

Even with snow across most of the yard, these two just knew that the sunshine was just for them. It needed to be enjoyed--OUTSIDE!

Picture Updates

Picture updates on Picture My Year 365 blog!

Why?

Why do my children keep garbage? I don't mean things that I think are garbage but they think are treasures ---like the broken McDonald's toy that has been slept with for weeks. I mean actual garbage. Wrappers from candy, lids from containers, broken boxes, crayon wrappers. Why?

Messy, messy

I am in a slump. I look around and it seems as if every corner of my house is in need of a scoop shovel.

At times like this I try to think positively, usually being overcome by the grumpiness that messes evoke.

One of these first days the sun is going to come out and melt all the nastiness away and I will begin to see spring emerging from its winter slumber. I hope that with that rebirth that my attitude about the messes I live with will have softened a bit.(or the cleaning fairies will have finally found my address!)

Happy Birthday Vance

Happy Birthday! Vance!

I hope that you have a fun day!!

Love you!

Mission Impossible?---no way!!!

I am on a mission. I am finding furniture for my children. I will be back when the mission is complete. I am almost there!!

Real life shots

Just a few images from Saturday---Real life around our house!

Updated pictures on my 365

Updated pictures at Picture My Year.

What a week it has been!

It is 10:52 p.m. on Saturday night. Almost everyone is in bed. I am up trying to update my 365 pictures--I enjoy trying to document at least one thing a day--however, trying to keep up is a bit hard. I have to stay on top of it--if I get too far behind I will just give up!

So--where have I been all week?

Let's start at the beginning.

Sunday-Miss E plays piano in church--beautifully plays " I am a Child of God"
Late Sunday night/early Monday morning----go to the Emergency Room with Miss A for extreme stomach pain. They temporarily ruled out appendicitis--she is still having pain.

Monday-tired Mom, Dad and Girl---I buy two twin beds off of KSL classified--have Tina pick them up in Logan for me.

Tuesday-Preschool, I purchase another entire bedroom set off of KSL, six loads of laundry, pick up MissE from school with the barfies, fix dinner, go to M's late basketball game.

Wednesday--return orthodics to Dr., drive to Tina's to pick up twin beds, go to lunch and do a bit of shopping, return home-make dinner, homework, piano, etc. Help D set up one of the new twin beds--they have to be re drilled.

Thursday--Preschool--free paint day! Go to Roy and pick up twin box spring-bought off KSL. Help D put together the second twin bed. Watch tivo'd Biggest Loser.

Friday--go to boot camp at the gym, drive to SLC and have lunch with D, go and pick up the bedroom furniture for M. Come home and start cleaning the furniture--my way. I wiped, polished and buffed. Took J and E to Javier's for dinner. Came home and finished putting the bed together. Stayed up too late and watched tivo'd American Idol--I love not watching commercials!

Saturday---slept in! Cleaned dirty couches, washed dirty dog, made food, picked up dirty clothes, put away toys, made beds, spent over an hour trying to salvage a vinyl word phrase that got stuck together.Comfort J after he crashed on his bike. Dinner at Steph's, run to grocery store, made chocolate chip cookies, sorted laundry, loaded pictures on computer and updated 365 blog.

The End

I'm alive!

I am not dead. I am not sick. I am not depressed.

I am busy---with laundry.

be back soon-with pictures!

Picture My Year---update!!

picture updates on Picture My Year!

From Feb.4--Feb. 21

Is Spring coming?

This past Tuesday we were BLASTED with snow! We received two feet! Yes, two feet of the heavy, cold, wet stuff. My poor Mr. Sweetness came home from work early to plow. He plowed and plowed and plowed.

I am ready for spring!!!

One day

One of these days I am going to take the time to write something interesting. Or I might just write about the laundry again!

Moving on

Feeling better. Now---the laundry!

Ickyness

It doesn't matter how old I get, when I am sick I want my Mom!

One knows that there is something wrong when you actually remember the last time your stomach hurt this bad. CHILD LABOR!

The Real Feb 11 (recap)

Today REALLY is February 12.

Yesterday was a long day. We left here at 6:00 am to drive the 3 1/2 hours north to Grant's funeral. It really was a nice funeral. We went to the cemetery in a blizzard. As we drove past the headstones I mentioned that this was the type of scene that movie makers love to use. Cold, frozen, drifted over headstones.

I was aware of the date. It was strange to be at the same cemetery on this particular day. I chose not to dwell on it.

After the graveside we went to the church for dinner. Laurel had to leave to catch a plane. I visited with her family a bit. After that we headed home--another 3 1/2 hours!

It was a long day, I am glad that D was with me--he is a great driver!(among other things)

What is the date anyway?

Wow-I am a dork.

Today I looked at a calendar that actually said FEBRUARY! Today is February 10.

I have no deep thoughts only that I should pay closer attention!

February 12, 2009

It happened.

I never thought that this would happen, but it did. Today, I was reading and turned with a jerk to look at the date. February 12,2009. My Dad died 21 years ago--YESTERDAY. This is the first year that I have not been keenly aware of the date. It is always there, in the dark recesses of my mind. His loss is never far from my thoughts.

On Saturday I told Mr. Sweetness (when he was looking at my creative mess) that Valentine's Day had been tainted for me for the last 20 years. This was the year that I was taking the holiday back. Sunday rolled around and we were busy with church, trying to nap(not successful), piano practicing, and making Valentine cookies. Never once during the day did I even think about the date.

Ten years ago I would have wondered if this was a lack of caring on my part. How could I forget? If I forgot when he died did that mean I was forgetting him?

I now wonder if perhaps it is just the opposite. Perhaps by finally not agonizing over when he died I can actually get on with living. My living with my little family. My Dad was a very outgoing person. He did everything with gustso(even snoring). He would never want anyone in his family to be paralyzed by the grief that his death brought.

So, today is February 12. It is a new day!

Grant-You will be missed.

I had a lucky childhood. I had two homes. In my parent’s home, I was the fourth and youngest child. There was always something going on at our house. My Mom went back to college while I was little, moved two thirds of the family out of state for nine months to finish her degree and started teaching when I was in third grade. My Dad owned his own automotive supply business where he worked long hours. He was also an avid outdoors men. My three older siblings were very normal. They were busy, messy and loud. I shared a bedroom with my older sister. We were usually fighting about something. Often who was responsible for the messy bedroom!

My second home was the home of my best friend Laurel Chandler. Laurel is also the youngest of four. That is where the similarities ended (in my child’s eye). Laurel’s parent’s, Grant and Donna had always wanted a daughter but were not blessed with one the old fashioned way. When they brought Laurel home from the adoption agency her closest brother was twelve years old.
Laurel and I were friends before birth. After birth we were inseparable. I remember making mud pies outside their old house, getting in trouble for taking good spoons from the kitchen. I remember Donna curling our hair using a playing card to protect our ears.
Laurel and I would run around the back of her Dad’s office when we we little(the old one, torn down to make way for the freeway), we would jump large rolls of carpet, boxes and other huge items. There was always a fridge full of sodas.
We would talk about the bridge the city should build across the river from the park, then it would be easier to get to each others houses. Laurel and I went to kindergarten together, up the huge wide stairs. I remember sitting in the back row by the huge windows. Donna would often take me home while Mom was at class.
When we were about seven, Chandlers decided to build a new home outside of town. This was also the year that we went to Logan, Utah for nine months so Mom could finish her degree. I remember driving out of town wondering if I would ever see Laurel again, missing her so.

For a second grader the year in Logan was an adventure that went by quickly. It was finally Mom’s graduation day. The day the call came. The call about the Teton Dam breaking, sending a twenty foot wave of water toward St Anthony. My first thoughts were of Dad’s shop and sand paper floating out the door. My next thoughts were of Laurel and her family. Would the water get both their brand new house(barely moved in), their old house and their business?
Fortunately, both family’s homes and businesses were not harmed. I remember finally getting to come into town. I remember driving past Laurel’s beautiful new home, all safe and sound. I was so happy to be home.
From this moment on there very few days that I didn’t spend part of it at Chandler’s. I didn’t go to the front door and knock. I went through the garage and knocked as I was entering! By the time Laurel and I were ten years old her brothers were grown—off in college, missions, getting married. Laurel was basically an only child. Therefore we pretty much had total run of the house! We were able to bake, sew, decorate, sing, etc. without any older siblings telling us to stop.
Throughout high school Chandler’s just continued to be my second home. Grant was in the Stake Presidency so I had opportunities to meet with visiting authorities. I remember meeting Elder Marvin J. Ashton. I also remember staying at their house while they hosted members of a choir. We were love struck tweens!
During high school my family had some serious family issues (who’s doesn’t?). Laurel’s house was always open to me. I never once had to explain our problems. They also never expected an explanation. They just welcomed me, no matter what day or time. I went on vacations, ate Sunday dinners and basically became one of theirs.
I have been out of high school for twenty three years. Over the course of those years I have stopped by on occasion. I almost always still go through the garage. More than once I have noticed my little families Christmas picture on their fridge. I have walked a block from my Mom’s house to Grant’s insurance office. Even after Grant retired I was greeted like family by Laurel’s brothers. Usually being called something like Rosemont or Rosie BD(don’t ask me why?).
Yesterday Mom called and told me Grant passed away. He hasn’t been well for awhile. I am so saddened by this news.
Grant was a constant in my life. He was my Bishop when I was a little girl. He helped us bottle feed baby lambs, helped us feed baby chicks. He never complained about our “creative messes”, staying up all night playing monopoly or our constant giggling. He allowed access to his office so we could deliver circulars, never complained when we drank all the pop in his fridge. Always gave us money for gas and treats. He even gave us access to his wood shop, even helping us build doll houses for our own little girls.

Grant was a figure of strength for me. As an adult I am well aware that we all have short comings. I am certain Grant had them. However, as a child I felt Grant’s faith. I knew he had a testimony of Jesus Christ. I knew this before I even understood what this truly meant. I knew he loved his family, he would do anything he could for them. He was a strong example of a good husband, father and leader. His example helped me know what to look for in my own husband.

I feel blessed to have been part of his family.

He will be missed.

Sick Day

Last night my little man looked horrible. He was fevering, glassy eyed and sounded like a seal. I decided that I better call and cancel preschool for today. I don't want my child to be the one that exposes 16 other children to croup!

What a great day this has turned out to be. Just exactly what I needed. A sick boy that is not TOO sick. Just sick enough that I don't want to take him out. He just laid low all day.

What did I do you ask. DIG OUT my laundry/storage room! I know that it sounds like I am always buried. Well, I am! I am trying to simplify(isn't this such a catch term right now?) my life but right now, I am just trying to figure out what that means. So, today, I have done laundry. My 15 loads last week helped so much-unfortunately for me, I haven't done even one load since last Wednesday! So-lots of laundry and sorting as I go. It is once again time to go through everyone's clothes. They all seem to be growing constantly, I feel like I just barely went through their stuff to pull out the things that don't fit. I guess that is just part of life!

I am often curious about when and how people start having their children be responsible for their own laundry. My friend Lara has her very young children do theirs, I have other friends who have them start at 12 others 15. The truth be told, I was never totally responsible for my own laundry until I went to college. I did know how to do it. I was taught how to sort(well, thank you very much) and to not wash one shirt(sorry Mom). However, my Mom really never required me to do it. Now, I wonder if I am doing my older children a disservice if I do or if I don't? I certainly would like two less people's laundry that I am responsible for. However, I haven't decided how to go about this.

Updates

Updates on picture my year 365 blog.

I'm Alive!

Hello there world!

I am still alive. However, it is still winter and I am still running in slow motion. I am hoping that very, very soon I will actually feel like I WANT to do instead of I HAVE to do!

Wish me well!